Coffee_Johnny

Stolen Nathan Jones’s Sunday best jacket, can’t fasten a tie, or take the cardboard out of a shirt collar… red card nonce.

It’s like the Championship!

Gameweek 24 Villa v Arsenal 1-2 Brentford v Palace 1-0 Brighton v Fulham 2-1 Chelsea v Southampton 2-0 Everton v Leeds 1-0 Forest v Man City 0-4 Wolves v Bournemouth 1-0 Newcastle v Liverpool 2-1 Man United v Leicester 2-3 Spurs v West Ham 2-1

“ Ah hord he’d been taken to hospital after a takeaway… was found face down in a korma.” *not (a jerk) or the end*

Rob Lee Vs Royal Antwerp? Not sure it was the best ever for us (or even his best ever…) but what a way to re-enter European completion!

Yes please and thank you very much.

Also my first top/strip (FKW, with thick elastic bands to keep my socks up!), think I got it early 1974 for 7th birthday. Let me know which cobbled back lane (may as well ‘colour in’ the era…) your dribbling through and I’ll pop round with mine on and be Alan Gowling—first ‘favourite player’, don’t ask why (given other choices), I have no idea… .

Not heard anything from my P6 application, so presume unsuccessful.

There’s one in Newcastle, which you may have read about. Haven’t heard any specific N-O meet-up plans for the ‘lesser place’, but a number of people have posted ideas for where to watch. Would be nice if there was a recommended venue or someone to link up with, there must be numerous heading there alone. If not follow the black and white shirts and cheer, dance, scream and sing along!

? ? @Kaizero is bringing hand luggage only, probs not space for his favoured bone saw! Joking aside, it’s great to see the plans people are making. What a day we have to look forward to!

Guessing you live in London, Mr President? (i.e. everything is badged ‘south’ from Newcastle perspective!)

I was 6'2" at 16. Now at 41 I'm 6'2" Think I grew about three inches 16-fully grown. 6’5” now. Seems like the younger generation are much taller, or there are now far more tall people in Tyneside. Last time I was in the bar in the Leazes end as I walked in it seemed like half the room was my height. Very odd feeling when I used to feel like a freak/giant in the 80’s.

I know what mean, I’ve observed similar things, with a touch of how do the defensive figures look so good when we’re looking a bit clumsy and nervous right across the backline. Feels like to the eye the number of unforced errors have rocketed but we haven’t really been punished (too much) as yet. Choosing to believe it is just a phase (tiredness, lack of Bruno as a lynchpin for last couple of games, normal ‘variation’ etc etc). Expected us to be on it at Bournemouth, maybe we’ll pop back into shape with a week’s rest/training, will settle for looking impenetrable again the following weekend!

Bear with me, but I’ve looked at who have left and used a formula to predict our likely points return on the basis of their current league position and whether the game is home or away. I appreciate people might think this has the same predictive validity as watching the way dried kelp turns in the wind, but I’ll share it anyway. Splitting the league in to quarters (A = 1st to 5th, B = 6-10 etc) and predicting results, here is the formula. For category A opposition, we will lose 100% of away matches and win and draw 50-50 of home matches. Category B: win/draw 25% each and lose 50% away; win 50% draw 25% lose 25% home. Category C: win 50% draw/lose 25% each away; win 75% and draw 25% at home. Category D: win 75% draw 25% away; win 100% home. We have these games left, in order (HOME, away): LIVERPOOL 10th B Man City 2nd a WOLVES 15th C N Forest 14th c MAN UTD 3rd A Brentford 8th b Villa 11th c SPURS 5th A Everton 18th d SOUTHAMPTON 20th D ARSENAL 1st A Leeds 17th d LEICESTER 13th C CHELSEA 9th B tbc West Ham 16th d BRIGHTON 6th B The kelp/formula predicts a return of between 26-34 points from the 42 available. We’ve 41 points at the mo, so that would mean between 67 and 75 points for the season. That puts us, reassuringly, round and about the average points totals for third and fourth place finishes over the last thirty seasons: 4th 68 and 3rd 73 points.

Thanks for the advice and taking the time to describe each option. Plan to get to the stadium early but a drink or two, out and about amongst the black and white brethren, feels like a must do ?

Kudos. As in that’s what you win and as in what a week! ? Not as in Magpie is going to buy you a bottle of aftershave ?

Here Mo, I’ve a laaaarrrggee back pocket for you (that sounds pervier than I imagined…)

We could have Gallagher for <= half of that. Different players but either would fit, and improve, our fluid midfield. Especially as I’ve convinced myself (on the basis of nowt much at all) we’re having Maddison in the summer Bruno, Joelinton, Gallagher/Rice and Maddison = challenging for the title.

Thank fuck for that, was thinking I’d have to give the forum a swerve during the most exciting couple of weeks in decades ?

I actually genuinely fancy us to fuck them up at their place.

Good luck with that EH!

Awful from Mahrez! Howay Villa get another.