Guest BooBoo Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 Just had a tweet from Mark Bright after winding him up about Uruguay "clearly being the better team". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 Fake Andy Townsend- superb! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest n4e Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 Fake Andy Townsend- superb! Sweepstake in the studio on what nationality Marcel Desailly will pretend to be if Ghana go out. I've got Spain. Some of the older big Sam ones. I'm addicted to this. My mate Fusty Steve says I don't have the guts to shove a Cornetto up my arse. We'll see about that. Have some of that, Steve. Whether it's mind games, technological prowess or inserting ice creams into my anus - Big Sam can't be beat. The missus loves my big, thick sausage fingers. Loves it when I use 'em in bed. "Come on, Big Sam," she pleads. "Give us the digitry." Trying to come up with a nickname for the wife's genitalia. My preferred suggestions so far are "cookie", "elderflower" and "cock-socket". Dressed like a judge for my walk today. Shouted "overruled!" to any ugly lass I saw and "how do you plead??" to all the foreigners Came in to the house to find the wife taking a piss in a child's potty. I pretended I was okay with it, but I'm not sure I am. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 Fake Andy Townsend- superb! Sweepstake in the studio on what nationality Marcel Desailly will pretend to be if Ghana go out. I've got Spain. Some of the older big Sam ones. I'm addicted to this. My mate Fusty Steve says I don't have the guts to shove a Cornetto up my arse. We'll see about that. Have some of that, Steve. Whether it's mind games, technological prowess or inserting ice creams into my anus - Big Sam can't be beat. The missus loves my big, thick sausage fingers. Loves it when I use 'em in bed. "Come on, Big Sam," she pleads. "Give us the digitry." Trying to come up with a nickname for the wife's genitalia. My preferred suggestions so far are "cookie", "elderflower" and "cock-socket". Dressed like a judge for my walk today. Shouted "overruled!" to any ugly lass I saw and "how do you plead??" to all the foreigners Came in to the house to find the wife taking a piss in a child's potty. I pretended I was okay with it, but I'm not sure I am. Thats just amazing. Fucking hell Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmojorisin75 Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 problem with twitter and the like is this fucker who's making everyone laugh is probably a socially retarded recluse sitting being funny and never interacting with real people Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 problem with twitter and the like is this fucker who's making everyone laugh is probably a socially retarded recluse sitting being funny and never interacting with real people Why is that a problem? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveMc Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 It's no different from a novelist or comedy writer. They often write alone. Doesn't stop it being funny. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmojorisin75 Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 problem with twitter and the like is this fucker who's making everyone laugh is probably a socially retarded recluse sitting being funny and never interacting with real people Why is that a problem? well it's not for, me i'd imagine it would be for any such dude, or should be but yeah whatever, lap it up, personally don't see how a dude writing random shit is as funny as is being made out but knock yourselves out Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest je85 Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 problem with twitter and the like is this fucker who's making everyone laugh is probably a socially retarded recluse sitting being funny and never interacting with real people Why is that a problem? well it's not for, me i'd imagine it would be for any such dude, or should be but yeah whatever, lap it up, personally don't see how a dude writing random shit is as funny as is being made out but knock yourselves out It won't be random. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam Liam Liam O Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 problem with twitter and the like is this fucker who's making everyone laugh is probably a socially retarded recluse sitting being funny and never interacting with real people Yeah, I reckon it's really him too. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guinness_fiend Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 problem with twitter and the like is this f***er who's making everyone laugh is probably a socially retarded recluse sitting being funny and never interacting with real people You mean like forums? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmojorisin75 Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 problem with twitter and the like is this f***er who's making everyone laugh is probably a socially retarded recluse sitting being funny and never interacting with real people You mean like forums? touche Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decky Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmojorisin75 Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 fucking hell man, i mean, fucking hell why would you take the time to write on the interweb such horrifically inane shit? "Night Night Everyone Bed time" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ketsbaia Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 More from TheBig_Sam: My neighbour's teenage daughter asked me earlier if I was Team Edward or Team Jacob. "Team Away For A Wank," I replied. Silly cow. Fuck sake. Another text from Kerry Katona. "I miss your kindness and your filthy fingers, Big Sam. Can you lend me a score?". We had a nasty fling last year. She turned up pissed at my house at Xmas, waving a turkey baster & shouting "marinade me fanny, Big Sam!". When I eat a Walnup Whip I never eat the actual Walnut. I just put them into a bin liner. Been doing this for years now. Never knew what to do with this massive bag of nuts. Until the wife spoke out of turn last night and got a Walnut-based thrashing. No joke. I just ate a pot of jam with my fingers. My fingers are all sticky but I don't mind cos I really love jam. I've had an erection since 11.14am. I've had six wanks and three cold showers and I can't get rid of the fucker. I even tried running into the wall full pelt, but it bounced back up like a fucking Weeble. Could have sworn the bastard was smirking at me. Quality Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Zaius Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 Diego Forlan seems to tweet alot. Sometimes in English too. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
clintdempsey Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 Luke Edwards: Oh and I can exclusively reveal that Jose Enrique has put most weight on over summer and Danny Guthrie thinks #nufc training kit is v nice Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colocho Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 TheBig_Sam I'm sure I was in the same darts team as Raoul Moat when I was at Newcastle. Cracking arm on the lad. Hit double tops for fun. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BooBoo Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 Big Sam has twice as many misses than hits. Still comes up with the odd gem though. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interpolic Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 TheBig_Sam: That whining bellend of a milkman called today again, demanding money from me. He got all up in my grill & yelled: "You owe me £36.86, you fat twat. Milk isn't free. You see me walking about with my own cow, nobhead?" I put my hand in my pocket & said "Oh yeah, I've got something for you". But then I pull out a middle finger & brandish it in his shit face. By this stage he's nearly fucking crying. He's shouting "You're a celebrity! You're minted! My kids need new shoes!!". Fucking hilarious. I ended the altercation in typical fashion. I ripped off my shirt and sang 'Party Hard' by Andrew WK at him. Paying For Milk 0 - 1 Big Sam. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Duper Branko Strupar Posted July 11, 2010 Share Posted July 11, 2010 More from TheBig_Sam: I just ate a pot of jam with my fingers. My fingers are all sticky but I don't mind cos I really love jam. Quality Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 GIUSEPPE ROSSI: crazy over here...its 1 a.m. and im friggin hearing sirens and fireworks!!! i got training tomorrow!!! Unlucky. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 VizTopTips TECHNOPHOBES. Get all the fun of using Twitter by writing postcards addressed to celebrities and then throwing them off a cliff. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Village Idiot Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Andrés Iniesta has restarted posting on Facebook again Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Andrés Iniesta has restarted posting on Facebook again Yeah I saw that, unreal the amount of response it gets whenever he posts something. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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