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John Carver


Guest neesy111

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He's got the job apparently and told the players at a team meeting this morning. Fuck me.

 

Means nowt tbh. Even if he was promised the job by Charnley they are more than likely just stringing him along.

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· John Carver walks into a bank in Newcastle. He walks up to the teller and says: “I’d like to withdraw £5,000 please”.

The teller replies “Certainly sir! All I need is to see some identification.” Carver, taken aback, replies “This is really embarrassing. But I don’t have any I.D. on me. But I’m John Carver. You can ask anybody around here. They will tell you who I am.” The teller replies sternly “I know who you are sir. But I still need some sort of proof of identification. I’m sorry.”

Bemused, Carver asks “is there really nothing you can do?” The teller says “Well. There is one thing. A number of years ago we had this same situation with Obafemi Martins. Obafemi came in without any form of I.D. to prove who he was. So he said he would prove it by doing something an impostor couldn’t possibly do. He set a football down in the street outside. He then proceeded to kick it as hard as he possibly could. He kicked the ball so far, we knew it had to be him.” John replies: “Interesting. Were there any other cases?”

The teller smiles and replies:”Yes actually. Not one year ago we had Hatem Ben Arfa in. Same problem again. So Hatem proceeds to put the ball on the floor, and starts juggling it with his feet. He goes on to do a number of tricks, and we knew it absolutely had to be him.

“So Sir, is there anything you could do to prove to us who you are?” the teller asks.

Carver stops to think for a minute. He shakes his head and replies “I can’t think of anything at all. I’m not sure if there’s a solution here. Honestly, I Dont have a clue..”

The teller asks “Will that be large or small notes sir?”

 

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Guest reefatoon

They will announce it on the pitch before the match on Sunday, knowing it will only be the goons in the ground to applaud.

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· John Carver walks into a bank in Newcastle. He walks up to the teller and says: “I’d like to withdraw £5,000 please”.

The teller replies “Certainly sir! All I need is to see some identification.” Carver, taken aback, replies “This is really embarrassing. But I don’t have any I.D. on me. But I’m John Carver. You can ask anybody around here. They will tell you who I am.” The teller replies sternly “I know who you are sir. But I still need some sort of proof of identification. I’m sorry.”

Bemused, Carver asks “is there really nothing you can do?” The teller says “Well. There is one thing. A number of years ago we had this same situation with Obafemi Martins. Obafemi came in without any form of I.D. to prove who he was. So he said he would prove it by doing something an impostor couldn’t possibly do. He set a football down in the street outside. He then proceeded to kick it as hard as he possibly could. He kicked the ball so far, we knew it had to be him.” John replies: “Interesting. Were there any other cases?”

The teller smiles and replies:”Yes actually. Not one year ago we had Hatem Ben Arfa in. Same problem again. So Hatem proceeds to put the ball on the floor, and starts juggling it with his feet. He goes on to do a number of tricks, and we knew it absolutely had to be him.

“So Sir, is there anything you could do to prove to us who you are?” the teller asks.

Carver stops to think for a minute. He shakes his head and replies “I can’t think of anything at all. I’m not sure if there’s a solution here. Honestly, I Dont have a clue..”

The teller asks “Will that be large or small notes sir?”

 

 

:lol:

 

Quite like it.

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If Carver gets the job, Ashley should be taken to an FA tribunal. He's worse than that cunt who was owning Leeds. Not a single decision is based on the footballing side.

perfect storm if its true carver gets the job and it will show the football world how incompetent Ashley is and how poor Carver is ,guaranteed relegation and all self inflicted ,iv actually hate Carver more than Pardew for the simple fact he is a geordie who has sold his soul to the devil along with Beardsley and Moncur 
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If Carver gets the job, Ashley should be taken to an FA tribunal. He's worse than that c*** who was owning Leeds. Not a single decision is based on the footballing side.

perfect storm if its true carver gets the job and it will show the football world how incompetent Ashley is and how poor Carver is ,guaranteed relegation and all self inflicted ,iv actually hate Carver more than Pardew for the simple fact he is a geordie who has sold his soul to the devil along with Beardsley and Moncur 

 

Even this won't wake some of our supporters up, the loudest possible action Ashley could take at this point in not caring about the club in the slightest and the sheep will still be "getting behind the manager and the boys" "give him a chance with a full squad let's see what he can do" "the real test is summer iyam" feckless idiots. Let's back a toady, subservient, sycophantic nonentity, that will go well.

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I'm not one bit surprised if he gets it man, it's a text book Ashley fuck up.

 

Where do we go from here like? Relegation and a terrible season guaranteed next year. How do we even find an interest anymore?

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the scary thing for me is that I will get more pleasure seeing Ashley fail than seeing Newcastle succeed

me too as i must be only one in bar watching match hoping opposition win apart from mackems

 

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