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Paul Merson ranks the transfer windows across the Premier League:

 

Chelsea: ‘I don’t think Marcos Alonso is good enough for Chelsea. Michy Batshuayi looks lively so far, and N’Golo Kante makes Chelsea the team to beat this season. David Luiz? No, no, no, no, no. Did you watch him play against Monaco last week? He gave away the silliest penalty I’ve ever seen and Paris Saint-Germain probably dropped him off.’

Grade: A+.

 

On giving Crystal Palace a B+: ‘This could be a D in six months, or an A+.’

 

On giving Leicester a C: ‘ It could turn out to be a B+ transfer window or expelled from school.’

 

On giving Middlesbrough a B-: ‘I’ve gone B- but that could easily turn into a D because there are a few big gambles.’

 

On giving Watford a C: ‘If they stay up, this is an A.’

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Paul Merson ranks the transfer windows across the Premier League:

 

Chelsea: ‘I don’t think Marcos Alonso is good enough for Chelsea. Michy Batshuayi looks lively so far, and N’Golo Kante makes Chelsea the team to beat this season. David Luiz? No, no, no, no, no. Did you watch him play against Monaco last week? He gave away the silliest penalty I’ve ever seen and Paris Saint-Germain probably dropped him off.’

Grade: A+.

 

On giving Crystal Palace a B+: ‘This could be a D in six months, or an A+.’

 

On giving Leicester a C: ‘ It could turn out to be a B+ transfer window or expelled from school.’

 

On giving Middlesbrough a B-: ‘I’ve gone B- but that could easily turn into a D because there are a few big gambles.’

 

On giving Watford a C: ‘If they stay up, this is an A.’

 

Read that article earlier and it might be one of the worst things I've read.

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Paul Merson ranks the transfer windows across the Premier League:

 

Chelsea: ‘I don’t think Marcos Alonso is good enough for Chelsea. Michy Batshuayi looks lively so far, and N’Golo Kante makes Chelsea the team to beat this season. David Luiz? No, no, no, no, no. Did you watch him play against Monaco last week? He gave away the silliest penalty I’ve ever seen and Paris Saint-Germain probably dropped him off.’

Grade: A+.

 

On giving Crystal Palace a B+: ‘This could be a D in six months, or an A+.’

 

On giving Leicester a C: ‘ It could turn out to be a B+ transfer window or expelled from school.’

 

On giving Middlesbrough a B-: ‘I’ve gone B- but that could easily turn into a D because there are a few big gambles.’

 

On giving Watford a C: ‘If they stay up, this is an A.’

 

Keying 35 grams of cocaine never fails to have an outstanding effect on the mind.

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Paul Merson ranks the transfer windows across the Premier League:

 

Chelsea: ‘I don’t think Marcos Alonso is good enough for Chelsea. Michy Batshuayi looks lively so far, and N’Golo Kante makes Chelsea the team to beat this season. David Luiz? No, no, no, no, no. Did you watch him play against Monaco last week? He gave away the silliest penalty I’ve ever seen and Paris Saint-Germain probably dropped him off.’

Grade: A+.

 

On giving Crystal Palace a B+: ‘This could be a D in six months, or an A+.’

 

On giving Leicester a C: ‘ It could turn out to be a B+ transfer window or expelled from school.’

 

On giving Middlesbrough a B-: ‘I’ve gone B- but that could easily turn into a D because there are a few big gambles.’

 

On giving Watford a C: ‘If they stay up, this is an A.’

:lol: :lol:

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Dave on TalkSport this morning had the producers sweating a bit on the breakfast show I bet when he revealed he calmed the nerves of his team ahead of big game by getting one of his Chubby Brown videos out for them to watch for 30mins :lol:

 

You can imagine them in Brazil's ear shouting change the subject :lol:

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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/twenty-per-cent-of-uk-workforce-on-loan-from-chelsea-fc-20160902113208

 

ONE in five British workers are on loan to their current job from Chelsea FC, it has emerged.

 

More than six million people remain locked into contracts signed under Guus Hiddink, Carlo Ancelotti, Andre Villas-Boas, Roberto Di Matteo, Rafa Benitez, or Jose Mourinho over the last seven years while effectively working full-time for different employers.

 

A Chelsea source said: “David Luiz made the press, but 428,999 of the other 429,000 deals we did on deadline day were immediately loaned back to employers ranging from bulk waste collection to publishing houses.

 

“Apart from an increase in salary to around £30,000 a week, most people find that signing for Chelsea doesn’t interfere with their daily routine at all.”

 

The signings, made to forestall interest from rival clubs, typically have the bulk of their wages paid by Chelsea with employers from Subway to KPMG making up the remaining 0.0005 per cent.

 

Julian Cooke said: “It was a real surprise when I got a call from Antonio Conte on transfer deadline day telling me I unfortunately didn’t feature in his plans this season.

 

“In all honesty I hadn’t expected to make the starting 11, mostly because I’m an accountant living in Devon, but I reckon I could’ve done a job in the League Cup.”

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