Elbel1

Why don't we just send Nile into Derek Lardarses casino with 50p in his pocket? I reckon if he maximises his 'Nile Power' within 20 mins he would have won enough cash to buy NUFC outright and bring all of Real Madrids new signings over for a promotion charge. The best part would be that Lardarse would be sleeping on the streets after Mr Ranger cleans him out Its a win win setup

I've heard that Albert Luque is part of one the consortiums That should guarentee about 200 pages

The most interesting thing about it is the choice of players to model it Looks like Taylor and Beye are going to stay

Selling an 8-12 goal a season Premiership striker for £7m, and replacing him with a 20-25 goal a season Championship striker for less than half of that isn't the worst idea in the world tbh. How many 20-25 goal a season Championship strikers have even managed to get 12 goals a season in the Premiership? Chopra. oh, hang on... Darren Bent Andy Cole Andy Johnson

Will the remaning time on his contract be paid up or do they come to a 'mutual agreement' Either way I reckon we will offer him a trial in the summer if comes back

Stoke and Villa to win tomorrow pays 6/1 at Coral Add on Spurs (if it doesn't make you feel too dirty) and it goes to 11/1 I hate to bet against the Toon but Fulham are 3/1 which is a bit too good to miss

Take your favourite from this list: colossus scorchio jizztastic numberwang inspiring

I wouldn't be surprised if Arsenal beat Man Utd at the weekend The way Evra has been talking in the press, Wenger won't need a team talk

As it won't happen until 2015 it won't affect our hopes next season But it could hamper our hopes of retaining the champions league for a 4th successive season...............

pants

Ole-Einar Bjørndalen is a norwegian biathlete who quit drinking because he could never be the best if he continues doing it, alcohol does nothing good for the body and i think if you look at the greatest athletes in history i think you will find that most of them didnt drink. Just to putting it out there but I'm sure I remember reading somewhere that Alan Smith is teetotal

David Brent

As an alternative to assasinating oppostion strikers why not bring in 'encouragment beatings' for players whose errors lead to goals? Bit controversal but might just up the concentration levels a bit

West Brom, Boro and Sunderland West Brom have left themselves too much to do Boro suffer from lack of confidence, cutting edge and clean air Sunderland have a very tricky run in and have lost form at a bad time

Be too boring, He'd have killed all the men and made all of the women in there pregnant within 2 minutes and any pregnant women would now be having triplets. Just killed off Niles rep as a master love machine there

I don't rate Smith, I'm not keen on Cacapa and Butt is pretty poor. But which is the laest rubbish? Theres only one way to find out......... FIGHT Apologies to Harry Hill

Although I believe that Ranger and Lua Lua (amoung others) will save the club a lot of money in the near future, I also believe that next season will be too early for them. More likely that they will go out on loan to a Championshil/League 1 side to learn their craft. Would like to see them go to a local club so that they could still train at Newcastle once a week

Here is my list of players more over rated than Owen Gerrard Joe Cole Jenas K Jones Bridge (£10m!!) Jenas Defoe (£15m!!!!) Parker Jenas Lescott Jenas Terry Downing Delap (Take your long throw and f@$% off)

The bit where you say 'if he was any good why hasn't a champion league team come in for him'. Or are you suggesting we go for players who aren't very good?

Shola has signed for another 3 years Whoo ooo

Did he not get married in the summer? If he did then hoe is the house a mess? WTF is his wife doing all day?

If you can defend well enough to keep a clean sheet you are guarenteed at least 1 point If you attack well enough to score 3 goals you aren't guarenteed anything if you can't defend Simple really

Looks like I bought those shares in Greggs at the right time I could be quids in

Keane has previous for streching out contract talks He is playing hard to get but this time it could go a bit wrong for him At Man Utd he knew that he was pretty much irreplaceable He seems to think that he is bullet proof in his current position but given some fans reaction to recent results he couldn't be more wrong However it does make a change to watch a north east club come apart at the seems that isnt NUFC

Personally speaking, I don't think we will be relegated