Pilko

What a shit ebening.

Sancho and Ross Barkley playing like they've been for a Sunday dinner and a few pints before the game.

You fucking wankers Villa.

Get fucked Villa.

Pardew and Bruce probably aren't far apart in terms of cuntery although Pards at least talks about us in a positive light now, unlike that tin of fucking Pek. Pardew was also not a great manager, but was ten times the manager Bruce was - he was that shit.

I haven't even factored in Woltemade, Elanga, Wissa or Ramsey potentially being sold when I'm thinking about the volume of signings this summer tbh. I think Wolte is unsuited to Howe Ball, Elanga is shit, Wissa I think will improve if he stays and Ramsey I like and think we'll see shine next year if he stays fit. But I think it's likely most of them stay at the club. We need two new keepers as you say, we need a RB to replace the outgoing Trippier & Krafth and it's likely we lose two or three of Gordon, Tonali and Livramento which would need like for like replacements. That's five or six signings and we've not even thought about "stay or go" on those lads listed above, any other further player trading, whether we retain Burn and/or Schar, or adding any young Osula type WIP signings to the group. I just think 5 or 6 total seems wildly short when you consider all of it.

The comments he made about not wanting as many in/out as last summer frightens me a lot. We need at least two keepers alone and he wants 5 or less signings total? Can help but think we're fucked if that happens.

Feel like I say this every time I watch the dippers but Frimpong is hilariously bad.

Slot has absolutely murdered this team. There's absolutely no movement from the forward players when they're looking to play a pass.

Liverpool

We contrived to lose to this absolute shit heap Palace side.

Good to remove the uncertainty, regardless of the view of each individual on whether he should stay or go. The club now needs to get the summer right and Eddie needs to demonstrate he can evolve our play and add more control and creativity.

Checked and cleared Never touched him, what a lot of bollocks

I think he's playing his way towards staying next season, barring any kind of mental sized offer. He's starting to show he can be relied on to get a goal and there's already a big tick in the box as a substitute for the "chaos" option too. Still very raw but signs it's starting to come together. I'd keep starting him for the rest of the season, he's earned the spot and should keep it.

I hope Eddie has a plan in mind for pre-season on how to get the best out of him.

He's absolutely pap like. Still, he's getting on the pitch and involved in missing chances - a big step forwards from not getting off the bench.

Not sure I can remember many keepers with a more vertical fast decline than him. Dida maybe.

There's no point getting excited about anything any more lads, the steel mine's shut and we're on the scrapheap. And the exciting NUFC U18 players will end up playing for Gateshead or Blyth.

"There's a potential partnership there" on his two expensive striking acquisitions Presumably Wissa is boiling the kettle and Woltemade doing teabags, milk and sugar.

Lewis Small

£70m for Scott McTominay And we're all happy because we've finally utilised that great value forrin market for a more mobile version of Kevin Nolan for big money.

It must be bad when a few hundred old fuckers would rather be dragged round Eldon Square by the wife than watch us.

If Hall is left out tomorrow and effectively carries the can for our utterly shit defensive record (1 clean sheet in 20) I think it's incredibly harsh on him. He was shit in that first half against Bournemouth but it's about the first "bad" game I can remember him having, whereas Thiaw, Botman and the two idiots with the gloves have had numerous stinkers in that run. Even on an off day he's usually a solid 6/10 level performer. Be interesting to see the lineup tomorrow anyway, Hall might start and suddenly the notion he's been blamed for our defensive record becomes a Harry Enfield Self-Righteous Brothers sketch.

Full marks to the DJ at Leeds for playing Smooth Criminal at full time to take the piss out of Mike Jackson there