ben-nufc

He's had Stoke playing some good football these past two seasons.

Gameweek 33 Crystal Palace 2-1 West Brom Everton 2 - 0 Burnley Leicester 1 - 1 Swansea Stoke 1 - 1 Southampton Chelsea 2 - 2 Man Utd Man City 3 - 0West Ham Newcastle 1-2 Spurs

7. On losing Mario Gotze to Bayern. "He's leaving because he's Guardiola's favourite. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I can't make myself shorter and learn Spanish."

Wouldn't surprise me to see the club handing tickets out in schools etc to fill the unsold seats.

Krul Janmaat Willo Colo Raylor Anita Abeid Colback Obertan Cabella Perez

Drops the only player who's looked half decent since he came in!

Won the French Cup last season... NEXT!

2001, Barnsley away in the Worthington Cup when I was 7. Bellamy scored with 10 minutes left. First home game was the 3rd of March 2004 against Valarenga, was in the Gallowgate and just remember being completely overawed by the whole occasion. A night game at a wonga-less SJP really was a sight to behold when we were a club competing for things.

Phil Neville makes the list...

Swansea 2-2 Everton Southampton 2-0 Hull Sunderland 1-2 Crystal Palace Tottenham 2-1 Aston Villa West Brom 1-1 Leicester West Ham 0-0 Stoke Burnley 0-2 Arsenal QPR 1-2 Chelsea Man Utd 2-1 Man City Liverpool 3-0 Newcastle

#TheIslandNufc Perez asks Williamson to pass him a mango. Williamson throws it 8 foot over his head and into the sea Carver: 'Listen, it'd be nice to eat but the most important thing is getting some food on the table' A man with no arms brought to island to cut down trees. He is local to the island so will be better than a two armed man Yanga-Mbiwa and Davide Santon arrive with fresh food and water. Carver sends them in the opposite direction A turtle looks at John Carver the wrong way, Carver points his finger and shouts "Meet me at the training ground Monday" John Carver is still hunting for the chip butty tree John Carver has hidden in solitude in the woods wearing nothing but his pants and renamed himself Sir Bobby

: 0.69 points per game. : 1.1 points per game. : 1.37 points per game.

It's like the scene from Mike Bassett: Carver: 'How are the injuries looking Derek?' Derek: 'Not good boss, Aarons has a problem with his groin...' Aarons: '*Wrist*'

Players I'd genuinely want to keep: Krul, Janmaat, Dummett, Haidara, Sissoko, De Jong, Aarons, Cabella, Abeid, Cisse, Perez, Armstrong. Dummett only being useful as a back-up.

'We can't compete with sides like Liverpool, our fans know that'

That will never lead to success. Which is fine by the club, but it shouldn't be acceptable to you as a fan. If these players get better then why can't we get the benefit? Also negates the fact there is a very limited number of international footballers who'd be prepared to move here in the first instance so once you start going through them you're going to run out. The days of us being able to attract the very best (Ginola/Shearer/Owen/et al) are long gone though, where does that leave us recruitment wise? 1: Sign players to whom Newcastle will be the best they can ever achieve? ala Colback, Gouffran etc. 2: Sign players who will use us as a stepping stone? ala Cabaye, Ba, Cisse, Sissoko, Debuchy, Mbiwa, Cabella. 3: Sign has-beens looking for one last hurrah? as in the Shepherd era. 4: Bring players through the academy and create a home-grown team? like Southampton. 5: Sign the world's best? Ala Arsenal, Chelsea, Man City etc. Of course ideally we'd either be doing 4 or 5 but our academy/coaching set up isn't good enough and we unfortunately don't have the pulling power of the very big clubs. Where does that leave us? Of the three remaining groups i'd much rather be bringing in players who want to prove themselves. There's also no reason why we couldn't build a side up but at present that doesn't seem possible either until Ashley goes. Imagine a side of, Krul Debuchy/Janmaat Coloccini Mbiwa Santon Sissoko Cabaye Ben Arfa De Jong Cabella Ba/Remy/Cisse

3-0. Goal late in the first half and carver saying 'if we could've just held out until half time *lick* we could've got something' 'I can't fault the effort, we're definitely not on our holidays *lick*'

I'd much rather we signed players using us as a stepping stone than signing bog standard fillers like Colback or has-beens like we did in the past. It's just a case of reinvesting that money again which is the issue. In theory signing a player for 5m then selling him for 10m and replacing him with someone for 6m should be a potential upgrade.

You class yourself as a "supporter" of Newcastle, and you're saying s*** like this. Wow. I'd much rather support a Newcastle United that attempted to be a f***ing sporting club. Maybe you've forgotten what a professional sport club is about so let me do the painfully obvious here....we aren't going out there to compete to win matches, we aren't trying to develop any local talent nor recruit any local talent, we aren't trying to retain our best players, we aren't trying to sign any new players to improve the squad, we aren't trying to hire the best manager possible to lead this club, we aren't trying to hire director or chairman with knowledge of football. What exactly is the point of our club if not to promote Sports Direct? What is exactly is the point of supporting a football club that doesn't give an ounce back of what WE put into the club? If you can't see through this bull s*** then anyone who "supports the team" in the manner they do are just as weak and implicit as the rest of the lambs that turn up and drink this s*** up. But, lick, listen, the players aren't on their holidays, I find that quite offensive actually. We have Sammy, Dummett, Colback and Saylor, and we're employing Carver, Beardsley and Stone. What more do you want? All local lads with lots of pashun.

Didn't Mrs Santon go on a twitter rant saying how much he'd been forced out and that he loved it here?

John 'steadied the ship' Carver: 2 wins in 13 games. 9 points from an available 36. 11 goals in those 13 games. Failure to score in 6/13 games. 2 goals in our last 6 games. 4 goals in our last 5 home games. Those are just the facts, not even considered the tactical ineptness and spineless performances v Mackems/Everton/Man C/Leicester.

Krul was the least of our worries today. If anything he was actually our best player, which unfortunately says all you need to know about those in front of him...

Half an hour after full time and the t-shirts are on sale... http://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/new-5-in-a-row-t-shirts-out-now.1059319/

16 licks and one mention of Sir Bob in his BBC interview.