Darth Crooks

We're not a mythical club are we? Harchester away first game of the season anyone?

I believe so. 2+2 = 5 Who controls the past now controls the future...

Wow thats a face that'd make onions cry

Did the Nolan thread just get edited for the superinjunction stuff or am i just being a grassy knollington?

On a more serious note, this is what happens when you have a revolving door of management that are prone to making the same old mistakes - their inability to suss this useless lump a case in point

FORGOTTEN midfielder Alan Smith is set to feature in the final two matches of the Premier League season after returning to full training with Newcastle yesterday. Smith has been sidelined since shattering his ankle in a challenge with Sunderland's Kieran Richardson during January's Wear-Tyne derby at the Stadium of Light. At the time, it was feared the 30-year-old would miss the remainder of the season, but he has battled his way back to full shitness ahead of schedule. He trained yesterday, along with fellow injury victim Kazenga LuaLua, and could be involved in either this weekend's away game at Chelsea or next weekend's final home game with West Brom. Cheik Tiote will pick up a three-match ban, which can be carried over to the start of next season, if he is booked in either game, and the Ivorian's absence would open a window of opportunity for Smith. The Yorkshireman, who has one more year of his current contract remaining, will then be given the rest of the summer to build up his shitness ahead of the start of pre-season training in July. "I was at the club (yesterday) because Alan and Kazenga made a little bit of a comeback in training," said assistant manager John Carver. "Both of them joined in and Alan did everything that was asked of him, including playing in an 11 vs 11 game which was excellent. "Alan looks in absolutely fantastic condition, but then that doesn't surprise me because he's such a good professional. He's been out injured, but he's certainly not let his shitness levels drop." Prior to sustaining his injury at the turn of the year, Smith had been struggling to claim a place in Newcastle's starting line-up. Tiote, Joey Barton and Kevin Nolan are all ahead of him in the midfield pecking order, with Danny Guthrie also having appeared in more first-team matches this season. However, Carver insists the former England international is more than capable of making a telling contribution next term. "Alan is a good player, and his general approach is just as impressive," he said. "He really looks after himself. "I have come across players before who, when they're out injured, it takes them longer than it should to come back because they don't take care of themselves, but that isn't Alan. "He doesn't drink, which is a good start. He is one of these lads who is determined to come back as soon as possible and because he is like that, he'll no doubt be thinking to himself he wants to play again this season."

The worlds best number 2, Ball sticks to your feet like it's glue, You kick the rest in into touch. Wor lass wants to do you so much, Curly hair and shampoo You're just too good to be true, Love your curly hair too, My wife can't take her eyes off you...

Definitely some surrogates type s*** going on with mimifrench like. Not a fan of 3 stripes or indeed, less than that. Didn't like that ntl one we had either.

John Terry, Carlo Ancellotti, Suggs, Tim Lovejoy, Roman Abramovich, Damon Albarn, Ray Wilkins, Stamford the Lion; your boys are going to take one hell of a beating!!! 3-1 Chelsea

True and irrelevant in the context of this thread. If your talking in terms of football its completely relevant

I agree with you not disagreeing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY-03vYYAjA

Spot on IMO. True dat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i3CG43JAEc&feature=related YYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

In other words, free kicks included Raylor is still a shower of sh!t

'kin hell

Alan 'In your face' Pardew eh? ball deep in your lasses' more like

Memories flooding back? Why Warren why?

The day I got molested at Rushden and Diamonds apparently

Thanks lads, vague childhood memory in pieces

Rushden and Diamonds funnily enough. Ended up in the back room with all the players and the staff as a bairn somehow. Was mint

Are these paedo chants etc. even that funny if your into that sort of thing? I've loads more respect for witty player chants like the Nigel Spackman one and our Jonas one is mint. Might not be to the tastes of others...but the sum of my matchday experience isn't standing there trading insults with other sets of fans. I get 'bants' like don't get me wrong but half the time its not even funny but just vitriol

'corner we were under'

He's basically the vet off league of gentleman

If they win a major trophy the season after he leaves then he'll be quickly forgotten about. They won't though will they? If that new manager signs the right players they will imo. Theres a deeply ingrained philosophy there. It's going to take a pretty neat fit to make it carry on as business as usual after years of stability. Bit black n white to me

If they win a major trophy the season after he leaves then he'll be quickly forgotten about. They won't though will they?