Menace Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 Still have no idea how he's managed to blag being around the club, clearly a kiss arse. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 On 01/01/2026 at 09:06, GEFAFWISP said: Lucozade Loves the toon this lad. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUHRLYASLEEVESUP Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 Newcastle United legend Shola Ameobi had some explaining to do when he rang police in the Newcastle suburb of Jesmond to report a burglary. The Nigerian international arrived home to find his designer £500,000 flat in a total mess with rubbish and clothing strewn everywhere. Believing his plush pad to have been broken into, he then looked for his cheque book, but too late -- that had clearly been stolen by the 'thieves' as well. So he rang the police to report a break-in and gave a list of missing items. After putting the phone down, the distraught footballer then found his cheque book, along with the other "missing" bits -- and realised the place was a tip purely because he'd left it that way the day before. The mis-firing striker sheepishly had to call the police back to report a false alarm. Ameobi -- who last week signed a new mega thirty-year deal at Newcastle -- follows in that long line of extremely talented footballers who can do wonderful things on the field, but fare less well off it -- to the point that they are simply unable to fend for themselves. Who's to blame? Agents of course. While the footballer sits back and rakes the cash in, the agent is busy tending to his every need from making sure his laundry is clean and booking his summer holiday to doing his grocery shopping, arranging loan deals etc etc etc Yes, the pampered pro of the modern world is not exactly wise in the ways of the world and, as Ameobi's latest stunt will testify, the good news stories just keep on rolling! How we'd love to hear what was said when he rang the police back! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPERTOON Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 Legend Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffee_Johnny Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 39 minutes ago, RUHRLYASLEEVESUP said: who last week signed a new mega thirty-year deal at Newcastle Ah! Makes sense now. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbandit Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 Newcastle United legend Shola Ameobi had some explaining to do when he rang David Hopkinson to report a burglary. The Nigerian international arrived at the academy to find a slew of players had gone missing. Believing the academy had been broken into, he then looked for his loan book, but too late -- that had clearly been stolen by the 'thieves' as well. So he rang the Hoppo to report a break-in and gave a list of missing players - Ashers, Whitey, off target, the Odyssey, Hernesy, McArthury, Thompsony, Sauna and Corduroy. After putting the phone down, the distraught footballer then found his loan book, along with the other "missing" players -- and realised the place was empty purely because he'd loaned out players to teams that wouldn’t play them. The mis-firing Loan Coordinator sheepishly had to call Hoppo back to report a false alarm. Ameobi follows in that long line of extremely untalented footballers who can do awful things on the field, but fare even less well off it -- to the point that they are simply unable to fend for themselves. Who's to blame? Shola of course. While the footballer sits back and rakes the cash in, the loan players are busy tending to the substitutes’ benches. Yes, the pampered pro of the modern world is not exactly wise in the ways of the world and, as Ameobi's latest stunt will testify, the good news stories just keep on rolling! How we'd love to hear what was said when he rang Hoppo back! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ennyoueffsea Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 2 hours ago, SUPERTOON said: Legend Leg end, more like. 😂 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nucasol Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 Just now, ennyoueffsea said: Leg end, more like. 😂 A tapeworm. He’s curled up inside the club and we can’t seem to get rid of him. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRon Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 3 hours ago, RUHRLYASLEEVESUP said: Newcastle United legend Shola Ameobi had some explaining to do when he rang police in the Newcastle suburb of Jesmond to report a burglary. The Nigerian international arrived home to find his designer £500,000 flat in a total mess with rubbish and clothing strewn everywhere. Believing his plush pad to have been broken into, he then looked for his cheque book, but too late -- that had clearly been stolen by the 'thieves' as well. So he rang the police to report a break-in and gave a list of missing items. After putting the phone down, the distraught footballer then found his cheque book, along with the other "missing" bits -- and realised the place was a tip purely because he'd left it that way the day before. The mis-firing striker sheepishly had to call the police back to report a false alarm. Ameobi -- who last week signed a new mega thirty-year deal at Newcastle -- follows in that long line of extremely talented footballers who can do wonderful things on the field, but fare less well off it -- to the point that they are simply unable to fend for themselves. Who's to blame? Agents of course. While the footballer sits back and rakes the cash in, the agent is busy tending to his every need from making sure his laundry is clean and booking his summer holiday to doing his grocery shopping, arranging loan deals etc etc etc Yes, the pampered pro of the modern world is not exactly wise in the ways of the world and, as Ameobi's latest stunt will testify, the good news stories just keep on rolling! How we'd love to hear what was said when he rang the police back! Reads like a spoof piece tbh. Can't even tell these days. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikky Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 What exactly was his job? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPERTOON Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Just now, Mikky said: What exactly was his job? To steal a living. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
stabmasterareson Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Just now, Mikky said: What exactly was his job? He was basically a liaison between clubs and a first point of contact for players. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 "We now go live to Stranraer, Stenhousemuir, Dumbarton and Arbroath to get the reaction from their Directors of Football" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
maybe_next_year Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Again, for the people at the back: Shola Ameobi's job at no point involved arranging loans, he was simply communicating between the player during their time on loan, checking up on their training etc. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChicagoMagpie Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collage Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 I'd love Shola as a manager, honestly. At other clubs, that is. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallsendmag Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Give him his dues mind he's made £millions off scoring a few goals against the mackems. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conjo Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Look at what's happened to me I can't believe it myself Suddenly I'm up on top of the world It should have been somebody else Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collage Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 7 minutes ago, Wallsendmag said: Give him his dues mind he's made £millions off scoring a few goals against the mackems. 7 goals. Totally worth it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallsendmag Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 1 minute ago, Collage said: 7 goals. Totally worth it. Didn't realise it was as many as that. Lifetime contract for the lad then! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChicagoMagpie Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Heaton Manor alum Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 2 minutes ago, Collage said: 7 goals. Totally worth it. 100%, let's have a go at the cunts, not the good guys. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Just know Ross Wilson has loved demoting this club legend to spite the fans. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Parka Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 Disgusting Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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