C*CK P*SS P*RDEW

[number37]

Fans of the very club he managed made a website packed full of objective, unwelcome statistics as well as derogatory and delusional quotes from the man himself, all with the aim of informing, educating and ultimately getting Pardew sacked or at least taken off our hands. Now that's a legacy. 

 

That website just happens to redirect to here, by the way... 

[The College Dropout]

Oh and this idea that we had this magnificent squad should have died a long time ago.

 

Yanga-Mbiwa ffs. 

 

Definitely his biggest crimes was his degradation of the club. And it was a turning point in our history. Rafa's exit was the final nail but Pardew was the coffin.

[Wilson]

The idea of Pardew doing anything decent should have died a long time ago. 

 

In fact I wish this thread died a long time ago so we didn't have this same shit every few month

[Stal]

I absolutely cannot see how some "supporters" seem to base everything off what they just see on the pitch. It's like if you married a very attractive person, but they became infected by a parasite which leached off their insides leaving them an actual shell of who they used to be. They still look alrightish on the outside occasionally though, but there is nothing but pure hell and anguish on the inside and they stopped communicating with you ages ago. Rather than accept there is a problem though, you just go along with it because you've had a few alright nights out with your parasitic paramour and their slowly rotting carcass. 

It wasn't just what was on the pitch, it was everything from sackpardew.com and more. Whilst ashley was the beginning of the ruination of our club, pardew was like the sudden maggotlike appendage that sprouted out of your formerly wonderful partner that helped solidify the rot. 

 

But "oooh the football was alright and he gets a hard time for no reason". Get to absolute fuck. 

 

 

[keegshields]

2 hours ago, Kid Icarus said:

The Pardew revisionism is a joke like, you often see it on our Reddit page. Even if you look past the atrocious football, he was Ashley's mouthpiece, constantly attempting to run with the hare and hunt with the hounds. Acting on like he was hard done to, his hands were tied, players were sold behind his back, all things he had no problem leaning on while also paying homage to Ashley, defending Joe Kinnear, taking the job behind Chris Hughton's back, accepting an 8 year contract knowing the situation, and relentlessly and snidely bringing up that all of our players were for sale and had release clauses - basically akin to someone walking through Benwell with a megaphone going "I hope I don't get mugged!" He did it time and again with Ba, Cabaye, Ben Arfa, and Tiote. 

 

As I've said countless times, he's football's Lyle Lanley and time and time again people are taken in by his con-artist act with hokey revisionism because of 11-12.

 

Noone successfully instilled the idea that Newcastle are just also-rans who can't compete, can't keep their players, and should know their place better than Pardew imo. That was the time you first started to notice it amongst fans that Ashley's rhetoric would make it to conversations with fans, imo via Pardew and his constant downplaying of what was possible. Then beyond the propaganda there were the excuses, the lies, the digs at the fans, the tributes to Ashley, and the embarrasment of him nutting Neylor, pushing a linesman, calling Pellegrini an old cunt etc. He was a complete cunt.

 

Then when you get to the football, he had by far the best post-SBR squad that Newcastle have assembled imo. He had the likes of HBA, Ba, Remy, Cabaye, Tiote, Coloccini, Debuchy, Sissoko, on a silver platter and served up the worst football I've ever seen at Newcastle, breaking countless all time records for being absolutely shit in just about every way. Meanwhile, Rafa, someone it's laughable to compare his record at Newcastle with, was forced to bumble around the bargain basement and expected to make up the difference with his own talent.

 

You'll notice that that was a running theme with Ashley - shit manager? Better spend some money on players! Good manager? We don't need to spend any money on players then!

 

Just a reminder of some of the records Pardew has as Newcastle manager, in case anyone makes the mistake of putting on their rose-tinted glasses. 

 

Our defence

• Our goal difference under Pardew was -40, the combined goal difference under Gullit, Souness, Roeder, Allardyce, Kinnear, Shearer and Hughton was -32
• Prior to Pardew, Newcastle had only lost 35 Premier League goals by 3 goals or more. Under Pardew alone we lost by more than 3 goals 22 times - more than any other Premier League club during his tenure
• Our 0-6 home defeat to Liverpool was the biggest home loss by Newcastle since 1925

 

Our attack

• Our record when losing at half time was W:1 D:7 L:38, managing 10 points from a possible 141
• We didn't score from a corner for 102 matches
• In 2014 alone we failed to score in half of our matches
• Under Pardew our PPG (including the 5th season remember) was 1.34 points
• In 2014 alone we had the second lowest goals tally in the top 4 tiers

 

Losing streaks

• In every season under Pardew we went at least a third of it without winning
• First Newcastle manager to lose 6 consecutive games
• We lost 4 home games in a row without scoring a single goal - the first time that this has happened in our history
• Most amount of home defeats in 12-13 with probably the best post-SBR Newcastle squad

 

Derbies

• Pardew managed 5 goals in 8 matches against Sunderland, something Hughton managed in 1 match before being sacked for not being good enough
• We conceded more goals against Sunderland with Pardew as manager of Newcastle than Keegan, Dalglish, Souness, Roeder, Allardyce, Kinnear and Hughton combined (12 vs 11)
• He managed a holy trinity of: failing to score in a derby for the first time since 1989, failing to score in a home derby for the first time since 1983, and managing it twice in a row for the first time since 1901
• He managed us to our first 4 consecutive derby losses in the history of the club

 

 

 

 

Great post but I'm now raging again. Due to that prick I quit my season ticket and drifted away from football even not watching us on TV etc. Only time in my life, until Bruce.

[Nobody]

Still can't believe we actually got money for this useless cunt in the end

[Lotus]

Anyone who could see and understand anything about football knew that 5th place was a one off. You can enjoy the results and there were some tidy players mixed with very very average ones.

But the facts are he didn't know how he did it and so he didn't understand where it wrong after. He was as clueless the year we finished 5th as he was the year we finished 16th. 

The fact he's a cow son is bye the bye. He was/is incompetent at this level and didn't have a f**king clue what his shortcomings were.

 

Shame he never asked.

[Mahoneys Tache]

He looked good in a pair of Joe 90 gegs though. 

[Wilson]

2 hours ago, number37 said:

Fans of the very club he managed made a website packed full of objective, unwelcome statistics as well as derogatory and delusional quotes from the man himself, all with the aim of informing, educating and ultimately getting Pardew sacked or at least taken off our hands. Now that's a legacy. 

 

That website just happens to redirect to here, by the way... 

 

One of our finer moments. 

[HaydnNUFC]

3 hours ago, Kid Icarus said:

 

 

Aye:

 

Our record when losing at half time was W:1 D:7 L:38, managing 10 points from a possible 141

 

At SJP, we didn't come from behind at HT to win in the league for over 12 years.

 

December 2006, 3-2 v Reading, 1-2 down at HT.

 

January 2019, 2-1 v Man City, 0-1 down at HT.

[SEMTEX]

2 hours ago, number37 said:

Fans of the very club he managed made a website packed full of objective, unwelcome statistics as well as derogatory and delusional quotes from the man himself, all with the aim of informing, educating and ultimately getting Pardew sacked or at least taken off our hands. Now that's a legacy. 

 

That website just happens to redirect to here, by the way... 

 

I know a guy who knows a guy who owns the domain, if anyone has any creative ideas for it

[St. Maximin]

That season we finished 5th - on paper where should our squad have finished? Given some of the talent there I reckon 7th would have been right and it just happened that Liverpool and Chelsea had poor seasons. Don’t think we massively overachieved really. 

[Sempiternal]

Tiote and Cabaye was an absolutely dominant midfield that season. Fuck pardew 

[TheGuv]

9 hours ago, Dr Venkman said:

Look at the context of his appointment. Hughton sacked when he’d done a great job and we weren’t in trouble. Already failed PL manager appointed in his place specifically to gaslight fans.

Pretty sure many of us on here knew Pardew was becoming the next Newcastle manager around the time we won 5-1 vs Sunderland. We didn’t believe it…then it happened…

[TheGuv]

Eurgh. This has brought up so many bad memories man.

 

Still not sure I’ve ever fully recovered from this era as a fan. I still only feel about 85-90% of what I used to.

 

 

Edited February 16, 2023 by TheGuv

[80]

[Colos Short and Curlies]

53 minutes ago, St. Maximin said:

That season we finished 5th - on paper where should our squad have finished? Given some of the talent there I reckon 7th would have been right and it just happened that Liverpool and Chelsea had poor seasons. Don’t think we massively overachieved really. 

I had a look at this earlier expecting to see massive underperformance compared to the seasons before and after but it was only Chelsea who really underperformed in 11/12.

 

points wise we were pretty much 5th or 6th based on average points per position back then.

[Conjo]

9 hours ago, keegshields said:

Great post but I'm now raging again. Due to that prick I quit my season ticket and drifted away from football even not watching us on TV etc. Only time in my life, until Bruce.

 

Take it as a healthy sign then that I was giggling all the way through reading that  Top post, only thing that could have improved it was a couple of examples of the lies, gaslighting & excuses. He had some real bangers. First that come to mind was when he was talking about how we needed to "put more intelligence into our players"

[Amir_9]

5th place finish was a corn kernel in the massive dung heap that was the rest of his time here

 

The man who single handedly gave the mackems a leg to fucking stand on again with that diabolical derby record. 

 

Thanks for the Europa league quarter final and 5th place finish. No thanks for some seriously seriously bad runs and stats as well as some dogshit PR. I even assosciate that clown Carver with him, it's hard not to. 

 

When we won, he would find a way to aim a dig at the fans that this is all in spite of us. When we lost it was all about accepting the situation, managing expectations and what we should accept being. He would never come out with anything about ambition or take any blame for his shortcomings and incapabilities. 

 

Alan "we was tired" Pardew. Still I dislike Bruce, McLaren and Kinnear more than him. But that's like saying you're the King of the Toilet and not the Emperor of the sewers. 

 

 

Edited February 17, 2023 by Amir_9

[Yorkie]

We was fiff last season, now we're eighff. We've done a brilliant job. 

[loki679]

13 hours ago, Conjo said:

 

Take it as a healthy sign then that I was giggling all the way through reading that  Top post, only thing that could have improved it was a couple of examples of the lies, gaslighting & excuses. He had some real bangers. First that come to mind was when he was talking about how we needed to "put more intelligence into our players"

 

Blaming the Notting Hill Carnival was top too

[Conjo]

2 minutes ago, loki679 said:

 

Blaming the Notting Hill Carnival was top too

 

On struggling to do any business in the transfer market in the summer of 2012: “I think it is quiet – whether we’re all enthralled by what’s happening with the Olympics I don’t know.”

 

On lack of finances in summer of 2013 “In particular, Liverpool and Spurs have spent a lot of money, and other clubs such as Swansea and Southampton have coordinated their financial strength really well. You look at a club like Southampton, and they’re in a much stronger financial position than us in terms of purchasing players”

 

After being comprehensively knocked out of the FA Cup by League Two opposition in 2011: “There’s a few in there that need to understand what this game’s about….a few young boys got caught out tonight by the passion and the physical side of Stevenage.”

 

On the psychological perils of passing the 40-point mark after Newcastle were spanked 4-0 by Southampton last season: “It’s difficult when you have 46 points on the board.”

 

On Newcastle fans being just too darned passionate for their own good: “It’s a city that loves the club so much that it hurts itself, because of that love. If there was perhaps less pressure on our results…it would probably be a better club.

 

After Newcastle put in a dismal shift and drew 1-1 against Rangers in a pre-season friendly: “The grass was a bit long for our liking.”

 

After Newcastle lost 2-0 to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in 2012: “Today was a little bit unfair on us. We couldn’t move the game to Sunday because of the Notting Hill Carnival.”

 

After losing 3-0 at home to Sunderland in the most recent North East derby: “Maybe we were a bit too hyped up.”

 

“For the last three years I don’t know, it’s science against me” – January 2014.

 

Lack of intelligence in the local area - “Southampton have a huge catchment area and it’s a different type of catchment area. There is a big working-class community down there but there are also a lot of middle-class kids who have good educations. The players who come out of Southampton are quite intelligent” – March 2014.

[Kid Icarus]

I've added the excuses to my post. As if my most popular post ever on here is about Alan fucking Pardew

 

 

Edited February 17, 2023 by Kid Icarus

[Lazarus]

29 minutes ago, Conjo said:

 

On struggling to do any business in the transfer market in the summer of 2012: “I think it is quiet – whether we’re all enthralled by what’s happening with the Olympics I don’t know.”

 

On lack of finances in summer of 2013 “In particular, Liverpool and Spurs have spent a lot of money, and other clubs such as Swansea and Southampton have coordinated their financial strength really well. You look at a club like Southampton, and they’re in a much stronger financial position than us in terms of purchasing players”

 

After being comprehensively knocked out of the FA Cup by League Two opposition in 2011: “There’s a few in there that need to understand what this game’s about….a few young boys got caught out tonight by the passion and the physical side of Stevenage.”

 

On the psychological perils of passing the 40-point mark after Newcastle were spanked 4-0 by Southampton last season: “It’s difficult when you have 46 points on the board.”

 

On Newcastle fans being just too darned passionate for their own good: “It’s a city that loves the club so much that it hurts itself, because of that love. If there was perhaps less pressure on our results…it would probably be a better club.

 

After Newcastle put in a dismal shift and drew 1-1 against Rangers in a pre-season friendly: “The grass was a bit long for our liking.”

 

After Newcastle lost 2-0 to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in 2012: “Today was a little bit unfair on us. We couldn’t move the game to Sunday because of the Notting Hill Carnival.”

 

After losing 3-0 at home to Sunderland in the most recent North East derby: “Maybe we were a bit too hyped up.”

 

“For the last three years I don’t know, it’s science against me” – January 2014.

 

Lack of intelligence in the local area - “Southampton have a huge catchment area and it’s a different type of catchment area. There is a big working-class community down there but there are also a lot of middle-class kids who have good educations. The players who come out of Southampton are quite intelligent” – March 2014.

 

You mean that wasnt a dream?

[Conjo]

16 minutes ago, Kid Icarus said:

I've added the excuses to my post. As if my most popular post ever on here is about Alan fucking Pardew

 

 

 

 

Added a like to your post to ensure your most popular post ever on here is about Alan fucking Pardew