thomas Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 https://www.premierleague.com/clubs/23/Newcastle-United/ Have we been kicked out of the league? The PL likes to avoid confrontation. They figure once we notice we're no longer on the website we'll just kind of quietly slink away. Pure Milton in Office Space moment. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanji Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Sean, chill. Please, for the love of your health and sanity. Just stop doing what you're doing man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stal Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Right for the first time ever I’m putting someone on the ignore list, possibly one of the worst posters this forum has ever had. Worse than NE5! I love this forum and the posters are generally superb and even the ones I don't always agree with have something to bring to the table that educate me or make me think. Although I've felt the exact same way recently, only problem is, I cant work out how to do it Edit: I worked it out. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wormy Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 If I worried as much as some on here, I'd never fart, in fear of shitting myself. I worry more about this than the takeover tbh. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixelphish Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 If I worried as much as some on here, I'd never fart, in fear of shitting myself. Tbf this has been a real fear since I sharted just before going into the first showing of Rise of Skywalker. A real morning of disappointment and reflection. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasman Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Although I have never s*** myself in public, I have s*** myself in the car on the way home. I was about 10 minutes from home when I didnt make it. Just had to carry on driving after and change my clothes in the bath. Absolutely disgraceful feeling. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hhtoon Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Although I have never s*** myself in public, I have s*** myself in the car on the way home. I was about 10 minutes from home when I didnt make it. Just had to carry on driving after and change my clothes in the bath. Absolutely disgraceful feeling. I'd like to say thats the worst thing I've read in this thread but it's not even top 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hhtoon Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Sean, chill. Please, for the love of your health and sanity. Just stop doing what you're doing man. Sod his own health and sanity, what about his impact on the rest of us!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
STM Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Although I have never s*** myself in public, I have s*** myself in the car on the way home. I was about 10 minutes from home when I didnt make it. Just had to carry on driving after and change my clothes in the bath. Absolutely disgraceful feeling. You know if you are driving and need to fart in the car? You almost have to lift a cheek up, without moving your feet too dramatically so you dont speed up or slam the breaks on or whatever. I once did that but didnt manage to create the desired air space for the fart, I had a definite turtle head situation arise but my arse retook the shit thankfully. Scary moment. Also, if you have the master leccy windows, where you control all windows... fart and keep your fingers on them (or lock them) all so that the other occupants cant get any fresh air. They fucking hate you. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 One of my dad's old mates had that to him in the tyne tunnel, he was stuck in horrendous traffic and had nowhere to go, so he had to start doing it in a plastic bag I think. Then mid-way into it the traffic started moving Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shays Given Tim Flowers Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouldy_uk Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 This thread needs to destroyed after this has all finished, no one comes out of it well Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
STM Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 One of my dad's old mates had that to him in the tyne tunnel, he was stuck in traffic and had nowhere to go, so he started doing it in a plastic bag I think. Then mid-way into it the traffic started moving I know a bloke who works in some forestry machinery, it was a frosty day so the digger door was frozen shut so he had a shite in his newspaper and threw it out of the already open window. Fucking classic. :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Is this what weve been reduced to? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasman Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 It happened so fast as it was a mix of ilnesses i think. Never likely to happen again Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbydazzla Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Pal of mine was getting a loft conversion done, got home from work early so thought he'd head upstairs and see how the builder was getting on. Caught the builder crouched down curling a turd onto a sheet of newspaper because he couldn't be arsed to go downstairs and use the portaloo. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest reefatoon Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 fucking hell man Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 love the thought of people checking the thread for updates now, apologies! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankpingel Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Love a shit story. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klaus Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Loft shitter Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
STM Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Love a shit story. Where is HTT when you need him? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
STM Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Loft shitter :lol: Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 Although I have never s*** myself in public, I have s*** myself in the car on the way home. I was about 10 minutes from home when I didnt make it. Just had to carry on driving after and change my clothes in the bath. Absolutely disgraceful feeling. You know if you are driving and need to fart in the car? You almost have to lift a cheek up, without moving your feet too dramatically so you dont speed up or slam the breaks on or whatever. I once did that but didnt manage to create the desired air space for the fart, I had a definite turtle head situation arise but my arse retook the shit thankfully. Scary moment. Also, if you have the master leccy windows, where you control all windows... fart and keep your fingers on them (or lock them) all so that the other occupants cant get any fresh air. They fucking hate you. This is hilarious and I'm chuckling away here but how has this material appeared on this thread? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomson Mouse Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 First couple of replies put things in perspective. Most people on here should read them and calm down Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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