David Icke - Son of God

He's working well in front of Debuchy. Keep him there. It's not as if we're not scoring goals.

John Carver removes his jumper in celebration and begins flexing his muscles in front of the South Stand. Thousands of Mackems question their sexuality as a result.

Need a sweepstake on what minute Seb Larsson will get away with a foul/handball/off the ball incident that should result in a straight red.

If we score at all they'll collapse. They're brittle as fuck, low on confidence, and if we take the lead I can't imagine their fans will be in any mood to cheer the side on. I'd still take a draw mind

I'm not nervous at all, which is bizarre as I'm usually a gibbering mess by now. Last year's 3-0, watching that fascist prick slide across the turf, pretty much desensitised me. Nothing can be as bad as that.

He listens to Dolly Parton and Kenny Rodgers.

A lot of the bigger/London clubs will say no but I can see the likes of Hull, WBA, Stoke etc. going for this. Great move.

They'll beat us, but I'm not convinced they'll beat anyone else. Good Championship manager to have mind.

The man's an utter tit.

Williamson's return may well negate the need for anyone who can pass the ball along the floor in the midfield.

If he drops Anita and leaves Tiote in I hope the cunt crashes his car on the way to training on Monday and ends up in a permanent vegetative state.

I really need to change my username.

Top swearing.

That has David O'dreary all over it that. Only if he's had a change of solicitor.

One way to completely lose any remaining support he might have is to bench a potential match winner and fan's favourite. I fully expect him to do it.

Got a sale on t-shirts starting tomorrow. 25% off. We've just taken receipt of a new batch of Cabaye 6 shirts.

Fucking shit.

That cunt's got no shame. Herbalife's one of the biggest scams going.

Why was he dogshit? You watched the game? Couldn't pass, couldn't tackle, slowed the game right down every time he got the ball and we were looking to build a bit of momentum.

I couldn't be doing with a mad God botherer like Hoddle. I'm still backing Ketsbaia.

Injury or altercation would make sense. Knowing Pardew it'll just be tactical.

I don't care if the alternative is JFK, this useless cunt has to go now. This is Souness levels of ineptness.

Santon, Colo and Mbiwa have all be absolute shite. Debuchy's probably thanking his lucky stars he's not the worst player on the pitch for once.

How the hell they had the gall to say that, I have no idea. Such bollocks. I hope N-O is planning to buy a board or two.

Makes a change from Ed getting the blame, I suppose.