Pilko

I'd take a draw right now.

All very meh rumours. Sure we've been linked with all of these players before as well. As usual, I'll wait until I see an interview with Keegan catergorically stating he wants these players before I believe anything.

I can't really remember what Owen was like in that game, but I remember Ameobi looked like he was on smack.

Enrique or Beye could surely deliver better corners than Geremi? In fact, fuck it. Let's get Harper to take them.

I was going to make an additional gag about you possibly being Alan Oliver, then I realised he'd be calling you.

I rang Arsene last night and asked him what he thought about this article. He said he couldn't possibly comment, because he didn't see it.

I've put a fiver on Defoe first goal, Newcastle to win - 55/1.

Harper Beye Faye Taylor(Edgar) Enrique Geremi Barton Butt Owen Martins Viduka(Carroll) Bench: Forster, Duff, Edgar(Diatta), Carroll(Smith), N'Zogbia The side I want to see. ^

I'm sure it was former Pompey chairman Milan Mandaric who said: "There's only one way to become a millionaire in the football owners game - by starting off a billionaire." Wise words.

Ramage - a mess of everything

Emre

Should start playing AJ a bit more then

Allardyce's Pompey (a) team talk: (in the style of Football Manager 2008, where he learned the tricks of the trade) PLAYER PLAYER STATUS MANAGER'S TEAM TALK GK: S. Harper Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) LB: C. N'Zogbia Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) CB: A. Faye Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) CB: S. Taylor Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) RB: H. Beye Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) RM: Geremi Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) CM: J. Barton Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) CM: N. Butt Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) LM: D. Duff Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!) CF: A. Smith (c) Doesn't seem to be listening Continue as you left off, I have every faith in you CF: M. Owen Doesn't seem to be listening (Let's try and keep it down to 4 or 5!)

Allardyce didn't do any high-intensity training, apparently. And the reason no-one was fit was because hardly anyone was playing every game; N'Zogbia, Milner, Butt and Beye were probably the only players to play over 95% of the Allardyce reign, due to his shitty formation, constantly playing people out of position and shuffling the fucking pack every match.

Sick? You've only been here two minutes! Doesn't take a lot to make me sick. Also, I'll now use this opportunity my avatar is not a bloke being sick, they are having a curry fight. I know, i think i asked you when you first joined! Does make you have another take though, every fuking time! Yeah, yesterday I used the phrase "it makes me vomit when..." and someone retorted "not as much as your f****** avatar". I'm just setting the record straight.

Sick? You've only been here two minutes! Doesn't take a lot to make me sick. Also, I'll now use this opportunity my avatar is not a bloke being sick, they are having a curry fight.

Sounds like a good idea, I'm sick of reading threads saying we're signing Henry, Deco, Ronaldinho and players of that ilk.

So then we can sell him to Roeder for the bargain price of £10m

Tony Pulis to hold lawsuit over false advertising.

Steven Taylor [/sarcasm] Viduka though

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FUPPING THREADS ABOUT PEOPLE WE DON'T HAVE A CAT IN HELLS CHANCE OF SIGNING?

Most improved player over the last few seasons apparently. I watched him against Liverpool reserves as well, he was top-drawer, made 8 or 9 excellent saves to keep a clean sheet, and he's really good at collecting crosses from the box as well. A season in the Championship would do him the world of good

So you're making friends with disabled people just to score cheap football tickets. Utterly shameless. I know for a fact that Big Geordie is a decent bloke. Don't dare make a crack like that, you have no idea how demading being a carer is. Go back to the gene pool please.

House!

Out goes the rugby hat, in goes the paper bag?