Pilko

If we do bid for him at some point this summer, it begs the question why the fuck have we waited til now he's been linked all summer long.

I'll update it in the next 12 months when the inevitable Dean Henderson £20m bid goes in

Leaked document below shows 2 years meticulous work and planning from the NUFC goalkeeper acquisition team:

Hopefully we fuck this one up like we have all the others.

Goalkeepers must be British and must have Premier League experience otherwise they're automatically crap, seemingly. It'll be Sam Johnstone or Daniel Bentley next.

Not thrilled about Ramsdale, guy just seems to get relegated for a living and said he can't even concentrate for 90 minutes. But, I suppose if we get a body in that's got to be progress of some kind given the shit show we've seen so far.

Jackson would be a great way to replace Wilson, but not Isak. The fees talked about are insanity too, just can't see it.

So am I, we were linked early in the window and a circa £25m fee was talked about. Apparently on a pittance wage-wise too. I suppose before long we'll run out of Premier League strikers to throw bids at so he'll be along eventually

We're fast becoming football's ultimate stalking horse. We're basically Cliff Lawton when he gets brought back for the leadership contest in The Thick Of It.

Feels like it was Euro 2021 when it was overused and associated with the England football team. It's been Daryl Gurney's walk on song at the darts for years, but that to me didn't feel like it was overdone when he had it originally.

Some rotten pens in that lot but the winning one was a belter. Well done to the lasses, they really dug in there.

Ridiculous yellow for Bronze that, she got the ball.

Howeh the treacles team.

Genuinely think we'll only get one more in now. It'll be Wissa or a similar profile striker, Isak will stay and that'll be that.

Marc Guehi isn't available though, what else do you expect the club to do?!

Impossible, the only keeper in world football (aka the Premier League) who's better than him has just moved to Man City. Nobody else is worth getting.

To my knowledge, nobody is saying that going in for those players is a bad idea, in fact quite the opposite. The issue is the tunnel vision on the miniscule list of targets, the lack of contingency plan and the slow way we operate. Yes, you'll say the market is tough and PSR is bullshit. And I agree. We knew that last summer and got next to nowt done. We knew it this summer, and have still got next to nowt done. We've put all our eggs in the one tiny basket, it's failed badly, and we're now firing out bids for any Premier League striker we can think of because clearly we've almost entirely decided to write off looking overseas, possibly/probably at the behest of the manager who loves British and/or PL experienced players. Again, fine to prioritise that but the lack of contingency or ability to change direction effectively is a joke and I don't know why so many are keen to defend it.

Apparently they managed to convince Eddie that Leipzig is just south of Birmingham.

Do our scouting and acquisitions team just sit seeing how many Premier League players they can rattle off? Jackson, FFS. Wouldn't be the worst signing but we just won't pay the money they'll want, it'll be another waste of time.

And he's the only keeper in world football who'll improve us as well, what an absolute pisser. We'll have to wait til another keeper of James Trafford's ability is born now.

Just pay the fucking money now. Three weeks til the season starts, we are going to go into difficult and important PL games with Osula and Neave or shoehorning Gordon into a striking role. We've tried to be canny and to get a good deal etc enough times this summer - pay up and get the cunt in.

Good thing we spent a week pissing about with bids before getting completely stonewalled. Great work yet again.

Bored of hearing how tough prices are, how tough the market is tbh. We know that, we knew that last summer, so to go around lowballing bids for in-demand players we absolutely cannot be surprised that we've only got one in.

We need to shit or get off the pot with this one really soon. The scary prospect of Osula leading the line at Villa Park is getting more and more realistic.

The betting tips were sent to Paqueta Island by a Lucas P... no wait, that's too obvious. Let's just say... L Paqueta.