pinkeye Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for. It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim. I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to walk into a room, or in this case the garage, to find someone hanging by their neck dead! Killing yourself like that is such a cruel thing to do because someone has to find you like that! I can completely accept what his widow is saying there, he is at peace but, she has that gruesome and lasting image in her mind that will stay with her until the day she dies of her husband hanging.... there is no way that you could ever erase such a memory! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonArmy1892 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 I still find the whole thing so strange to this day. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disco Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 7 years man. Time flies. This bloke should have been my manager one day. Are you a Wales youth international? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinho lad Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for. It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim. I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to walk into a room, or in this case the garage, to find someone hanging by their neck dead! Killing yourself like that is such a cruel thing to do because someone has to find you like that! I can completely accept what his widow is saying there, he is at peace but, she has that gruesome and lasting image in her mind that will stay with her until the day she dies of her husband hanging.... there is no way that you could ever erase such a memory! Some suicides, or self-harm acts, just happen where the primitive part of the brain takes over your rational brain and then the next thing you know (or don't know), it happens - without you being able to make sense of it or control it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Just me who doesn't want to read these recent articles? I don't mean that in a heartless way towards his Mrs, I just don't think it's any of my business and I really don't want to know any more details of such a sad series of events. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bimpy474 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Maybe it might help someone else, might make someone who's had a similar letter spot something like what Gary had, must admit it's a hard read Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altamullan Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for. It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim. Perfectly understandable, honest, natural and quite typical reaction. Suicide is an incredibly selfish act, even though people (who have been unsuccessful with potentially lethal attempts) usually report minimising the impact of their loss, prior to the attempt (and think differently after), it leaves a wake of devastation that lessens but never completely levels out. His boys will probably look at their own children and still feel a bitterness as well as crushing loss at his absence. Not to mention all the special occasions which are tainted and the difficult events they will face without his presence and support. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
geordiedean Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for. It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim. Perfectly understandable, honest, natural and quite typical reaction. Suicide is an incredibly selfish act, even though people (who have been unsuccessful with potentially lethal attempts) usually report minimising the impact of their loss, prior to the attempt (and think differently after), it leaves a wake of devastation that lessens but never completely levels out. His boys will probably look at their own children and still feel a bitterness as well as crushing loss at his absence. Not to mention all the special occasions which are tainted and the difficult events they will face without his presence and support. Completely agree I had a friend commit suicide around 25 years ago and his MOther and sister have still not really forgiven him for his act as its them that have had to live with what he done even after all these years. It was them that had to pick up the pieces direct from the aftermath and it was them that are constantly wondering why It is an extremely selfish act but to the people going through the hell and trauma that life throws at you its their only way out sadly Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altamullan Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 It’s never the only way out. It can seem that way when people’s thinking is so narrowed by depression or they are disinhibited by alcohol/drugs. We all make bad decisions, on biased/dodgy information; some are unrecoverable. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
STM Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Imagine being in those burning towers on 9/11 and jumping to your death was the only way to end the pain, you wouldn't call that act selfish, would you? Physical pain and mental/emotional pain can do very similar things. Depression can hurt over many years though. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altamullan Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Imagine being in those burning towers on 9/11 and jumping to your death was the only way to end the pain, you wouldn't call that act selfish, would you? Physical pain and mental/emotional pain can do very similar things. Depression can hurt over many years though. That is not the same, as in a planned deliberate action. Though take the point that ending ‘the pain’ can seem like the least worst alternative. It is never the only option though, and where your analogy falls down is the fact that people who are unsuccessful usually go on to put out their personal ‘inferno’ plus their loved ones do not have the same experience of loss as the victims of suicide who are left behind. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 I still find the whole thing so terribly sad. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinny Green Balls Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 Such a stigma around depression and mental illness still. Tend to forget how people are trapped in our own worlds. I can understand where the wife is coming from, but describing it as selfish doesn't take into account the massive hidden pain that won't leave. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wacko Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 It’s something I will find hard to forgive Gary for. It's not a criticism of her, but that's grim. I imagine a good part of that—and I believe it's not uncommon with depression—is that he kept his struggle so completely to himself for decades that it came entirely out of the blue even for the woman he'd spent almost his entire life with. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NEEJ Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Thinking about this still shocks me to the core like no other death of any person I've never met has. It still doesn't make any sense to us as the outsiders and it seems like the family feel the same. It must have been, and probably still is, absolutely horrific for them. To call the act selfish is to completely disregard the state of mind someone in that position must be in to take their own life. People need to talk to each other more, man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Howaythetoon Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 Such a tragic loss and seemingly senseless and while I would find it extremely hard to forgive him if I was a member of his family and probably never would, if that’s the only option you feel you have to end whatever suffering or misery are suffering internally, externally or both, then what a tormented individual you must be. So sad for his family and a great loss to the game. I used to love Speed and thought he was underrated at times. We were often better with him in The side, even as he aged and he was great for the younger players. I think the game also lost a very very good manager. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crumpy Gunt Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Talksport this hour talking about speed New book co authored by his wife. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paully Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 Eight years yesterday :'( :'( :'( Nice little story - met him a few times and he was a cracking lad https://twitter.com/nickcoppack0/status/1200029031166550016?s=21 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted January 3, 2023 Share Posted January 3, 2023 Some sad news this morning in that Louise Speed’s new husband has died from cancer. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decky Posted January 3, 2023 Share Posted January 3, 2023 Fuck. God love that poor woman. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbandit Posted January 3, 2023 Share Posted January 3, 2023 That’s horrific, how much suffering do people have to endure Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
STM Posted January 3, 2023 Share Posted January 3, 2023 Fuck sake. Lass has no luck. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
BonesJones Posted January 3, 2023 Share Posted January 3, 2023 Being a fellow sheepshagger, I loved it when we had him and Bellamy, and loved his time with the national team. So shit for his ex wife, thoughts with her. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dokko Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 On 27/11/2011 at 12:19, Dokko said: Rip Ffs Edit: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-15909277 12 years. ? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PauloGeordio Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 Just now, Dokko said: 12 years. ? RIP Speedo! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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