SackPardew.com

[ExiledGeordie]

Mentalist at work came out with the old "yeah, but if we sacked Pardew we might get someone s***..." f***ing Earth to moron. I think you just have to accept the fact that some people are just too loyal and too scared of any type of change. They've had the old Leeds/Portsmouth guff rammed down their throat for that long that simply existing in the PL, without any ambition whatsoever, is enough for them.

 

A club is only worth supporting if you've got a connection with it. I've got no connection with the current NUFC. It's a soul-less, dark, miserable shell of it's former self. Each passing year of bland, dour, just-good-enough football feels like another bleep on a life-support system. 

 

I'll start giving a f*** again when these pricks eventually sling their collective hooks. don't mind a jot if it gets worse before it gets better either. I want to start supporting my team again. I want my club back, don't care where they leave it either. Championship, League 1, don't care, just want to start giving a s*** again.

 

Hope we get f***ing dicked at Southampton too. And Hull and every other game until he goes. f*** him.

 

Brilliant, couldn't agree more with hoping we get dicked, one win is further damage so I'd sooner see us lose.

 

Spot on, got no connection or enjoyment with NUFC at the moment either

[Wullie]

They've put an article up describing his football as dreary intercourse.

[themanupstairs]

Link us up mate will you? On the phone at the moment.

[Wullie]

Ten-year-old Timmy Thompson walked excitedly out of St. James’ Park, clutching his father’s hand. He couldn’t wait to get home, wolf down his tea, and then head out with his mates to the local park to emulate his Newcastle United heroes.

 

For hours and hours the young lads would defend in numbers, close down the wings and keep two banks of four packed tightly together. Nobody wanted to be a striker – let alone a number 10 – that was for losers. Arguments would rage on and on with “No, I wanna be Gouffran! I was Ben Arfa last week!” and “Stop passing it short, you’re spoiling it man!” being the most common outcries.

 

“You should have seen me, Dad! I played mint today – I made 14 clearances and won 5 tackles! And I had the highest percentage of aerial duels won too!” enthused Timmy, happily rushing through the front door covered in mud. It had been a fantastic day. The Toon had been involved in a breath-taking 0-0 draw against the tricky 16th placed side in the Premier League, and then he had the best game of his life down at the park. This is the stuff that a young boy’s footballing dreams are made of.

 

Hardly.

 

Whilst the above demonstrates more sarcasm than your average Alexander Pope anthology, it’s a sort of Mad Max-style look into Newcastle United’s future. Look into the crystal ball while a certain Alan Pardew prowls his technical area every weekend and you would not see young kids in the stands being bowled over by the promise of skilful, exciting and technically gifted players. Those days of being raised in the North-East – with iconic number nines, a number eight shirt almost dripping with flair, plus unpredictability, pace, precision and guile throughout the rest of the side – are but a distant memory.

 

There’s not much at all to pique the interest within our current bland, archaic and downright unsuccessful attempt at playing football; the club is not only rapidly losing supporters but also missing out on potential new ones too. Newcastle United are simply not an interesting team to watch anymore. Even calling the style of football “functional” would be generous. “Functional” tends to imply a no-frills approach, which might actually get some form of result or return. Pardew supplies functional football without fulfilling the function; quite apt really – when you take the “function out of “functional”, what are you left with? “Al”, of course…

 

Wordsworth wrote in Tintern Abbey that “The dreary intercourse of daily life shall ever prevail against us… therefore let the moon shine on thee.” Without crossing into a realm of pretentiousness that could cause physical pain to the average reader, Alan Pardew has kept a tight grasp on the “moonlight players”. We don’t get to see them very often, we’re frequently reminded that they’re unreliable, and we’re constantly told that they are mavericks who can cause huge problems within the dressing room and be a detriment to the general dynamic of the team.

 

If you enjoy the notion of not giving much away, being cautious and refusing to take risks, then I can gladly recommend chess. Don’t get me wrong – a game of chess is sophisticated and often exhilarating; yet it is supposed to be played with caution and consideration. Football is defined by what chairmen and managers like to call “bums on seats” sort of players. If Pardew’s Newcastle side was represented on a chessboard, they would make the first move (central pawn moved two squares ahead – the lone, isolated centre forward) and then simply refuse to move again. Two rows of pieces packed together, with the queen and the rooks kept firmly in reserve. It is a metaphor that is a little less pretentious than the Wordsworth one, but is still strikingly accurate; the only difference being that 52,000 people would never pay good money to watch an actual chess match once a fortnight.

 

To return to the problem of the support once more; we live in an era where a “fast-food culture” of instant gratification means that it is all too easy for an inexperienced young fan to glance at the top of the league and pick a side that promises instant success with that magical winning feeling every week. I ask you; what is there in a Pardew team in order to prevent this sort of thing from happening? The alternate reality of Timmy Thompson aside, why on earth would anyone want to support a team which strangles the merest hint of creativity by pouring blame and scorn on the efforts of the “moonlight players” who attempt to provide it? When the loyal old-timers gradually fade away, year-by-year, what will be left of our once great football club? For the answer, I will unflatteringly misquote Wordsworth – “the dreary intercourse of Pardew football”.

 

http://sackpardew.com/articles/the-dreary-intercourse-of-pardew-football/

 

Love that.

[Guest Roger Kint]

Brilliant

[Yorkie]

Class read!

[Ronaldo]

Hats off.

[John P]

Great article that, summed up perfectly and very well written.

[NG32]

Superb.

[Dr Venkman]

Mentalist at work came out with the old "yeah, but if we sacked Pardew we might get someone shit..." fucking Earth to moron. I think you just have to accept the fact that some people are just too loyal and too scared of any type of change. They've had the old Leeds/Portsmouth guff rammed down their throat for that long that simply existing in the PL, without any ambition whatsoever, is enough for them.

 

A club is only worth supporting if you've got a connection with it. I've got no connection with the current NUFC. It's a soul-less, dark, miserable shell of it's former self. Each passing year of bland, dour, just-good-enough football feels like another bleep on a life-support system. 

 

I'll start giving a fuck again when these pricks eventually sling their collective hooks. don't mind a jot if it gets worse before it gets better either. I want to start supporting my team again. I want my club back, don't care where they leave it either. Championship, League 1, don't care, just want to start giving a shit again.

 

Hope we get fucking dicked at Southampton too. And Hull and every other game until he goes. Fuck him.

 

Great post, exactly how I feel.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

 

Fair play, Wordsworth and a chess metaphor.

[Willow]

Superbly written, he's doing a fine job.

[Doug]

What a fantastic incisive read, People who make a living out of writing need to look at that as a benchmark to aspire to.

[Ndegwa]

Decent article from that Mackem fart-sucker Louise Taylor-

 

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/sep/10/newcastle-revolution-alan-pardew-hatem-ben-arfa?CMP=twt_gu

 

It was large, it was professionally stitched and it was clearly a Che Guevara “Hope” banner. Except that on closer inspection the face beneath the iconic beret did not belong to the late Argentinian Marxist revolutionary but a French footballer.

 

When Alan Pardew spotted it catching the breeze high in the Gallowgate End and the chants of “Hatem Ben Arfa” began echoing around St James’ Park, Newcastle United’s manager muttered to himself, turned sharply on his heel and returned to the sanctuary of his dugout.

 

Within 48 hours of that 3-3 draw with Crystal Palace, Pardew had taken one of the higher-stakes gambles of his career and loaned Ben Arfa to Hull City for the remainder of the season.

 

Now he must hope Newcastle fans will swiftly forget their mercurial favourite who, in the wake of his banishment from first-team involvement last spring, became a cult figurehead of the anti-establishment “resistance” movement against Pardew’s regime.

 

Ben Arfa’s emergence as a cause célèbre was not only a mere difference of opinion between a manager and a gifted, if high maintenance, creator. It amounted to much more than a row about Newcastle’s dependence on long balls and an individual’s fitness and willingness to track back.

 

The failure of a potentially brilliant No10 dubbed a “genius” by Gérard Houllier to maximise his talent on Tyneside has become symbolic of a much deeper, far wider, malaise. This depression has resulted in Pardew’s side losing 14 of their past 22 Premier League games amid the regression of a number of promising players.

 

That run of only five League wins and three draws since 1 January, explains why 85% of 5,078 fans polled by the city’s Evening Chronicle this week said they wanted the manager replaced. And why the team’s next two fixtures – at Southampton on Saturday and then at home to Hull – appear pivotal for the man in the dugout.

 

Anonymous supporters have even established a website, sackpardew.com. While it seems Mike Ashley lacks real appetite for taking their advice, any repeat of the vitriolic jeering that left the manager penned in the dugout, unable to venture into his technical area during last spring’s 3-0 home win over Cardiff will surely leave Newcastle’s owner no alternative. Curiously rumours that St Etienne’s Christophe Galtier has been pencilled in to replace the 53-year-old have resurfaced in France.

 

On the back of some appalling results, including a six-game losing streak, the atmosphere at the game against Cardiff was toxic and the abuse intensely personal. Pardew’s problem is that, just as Ben Arfa has come to represent a set of ideals and a style of football mislaid when Kevin Keegan last flounced out, the manager is now regarded as emblematic of the entire ills of the Ashley regime.

 

At a time when both Ashley and the club’s extraordinarily low-profile managing director, Lee Charnley, are successfully dodging criticism he is serving as a lightning conductor or perhaps even a human shield, diverting flak away from his bosses.

 

Sympathy should be diluted by Pardew’s manifold mistakes – the overly direct tactics, permitting pride and ego to block a rapprochement with Ben Arfa, head-butting Hull’s David Meyler and the lack of a coherent football philosophy or vision – but a little does appear warranted.

 

Although Newcastle signed nine players for more than £35m this summer – with two, Jamaal Lascelles and Karl Darlow, immediately loaned back to Nottingham Forest – that generous figure is misleading.

 

After all, many of Pardew’s problems stem back to January when Yohan Cabaye was sold to Paris Saint-Germain for £20m but no reinforcements were recruited, while the close season spend was offset by the £12m sale of Mathieu Debuchy to Arsenal.

 

Moreover, Ashley’s policy of recruiting primarily from cheaper overseas markets raises the bar for his manager. Of this summer’s seven new faces on Tyneside, only Jack Colback, a free transfer from Sunderland, arrived with Premier League experience and it is surely no coincidence that the midfielder looks the most impressive newcomer. The greatest excitement has been generated by the emergence of Rolando Aarons, an immensely exciting 18-year-old left-winger from the academy.

 

Siem de Jong was bought for £6m from Ajax specifically to fill the No10 role behind a lone striker in Pardew’s preferred 4-2-3-1 formation previously occupied by Cabaye. De Jong, though, missed much of last season through injury and has now suffered a groin tear that could sideline him until January.

 

With France’s Rémy Cabella still acclimatising, the Dutchman’s absence leaves quite a gap – particularly as De Jong’s goalscoring ability had promised to ease the pressure on Emmanuel Rivière, struggling in the lone striking role after a £4m move from Monaco.

 

With a broken kneecap sidelining Papiss Cissé until October, the on-loan Argentinian Facundo Ferreyra having barely played for Shakhtar Donetsk last season and young Ayoze Pérez still a novice, Newcastle look alarmingly lightweight up front. The argument suggesting Shola Ameobi should not have been permitted to leave in June looks increasingly compelling.

 

Almost equally concerning is the lack of defensive strength in depth. Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa’s puzzling departure for Roma on loan has left Newcastle with only three senior centre-halves, Fabricio Coloccini, Mike Williamson and Steven Taylor.

 

Pardew has been dealt a consistently tricky hand by one of the game’s more awkward owners but he has also been his own worst enemy. Now such self-destruction has weakened his position to the point where it is hard to envisage him recovering from adverse results against Southampton and, especially, Hull.

 

Ben Arfa may be no Guevara but revolution is most definitely in the Gallowgate air.

 

Fantastic work from the sackpardew.com guys to get national coverage...and Slim/Santoon for the flag...fantastic work lads.

 

That bit about Shola though 

 

edit: just seen it's been posted before in the Pardew thread. My bad.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

If anything, it's possible having Hatem to hang our hats on actually distracted us from the yawning hopelessness of the rest of the situation. With absolutely no HOPE of improvement things could get nasty even quicker. At least before we had something else to hope for and campaign about.

[Ronaldo]

Not his biggest, but the most symbolic of his failings both inside the dressing room and his relationship with the fans. Part of me thinks it's him begging to be sacked/forced out.

[Wullie]

A comfortable Saints win followed by HBA turning it on for Hull on Monday night would just be... Wow.

[ExiledGeordie]

Beats John 'but dis ohwnha' Anderson

 

Very true. What really gets to me is Ando's (and others) almost shrug of the shoulders when it comes to Pardew. It's like "well we know Ashley isn't fussed one iota but who would he replace Pardew with anyway".......followed by a bizarre unwillingness to rightly criticise the manger for his glaringly obvious failings. The constraints within the club (of which I'm sure Pardew was made fully aware when he signed up) doesn't absolve him from being a crap manger ffs.

[TaylorJ_01]

"Newcastle United are simply not an interesting team to watch anymore. Even calling the style of football “functional” would be generous. “Functional” tends to imply a no-frills approach, which might actually get some form of result or return. Pardew supplies functional football without fulfilling the function; quite apt really – when you take the “function out of “functional”, what are you left with? “Al”, of course…"

 

Fucking hell, brilliant who wrote it?

[Flip]

"Newcastle United are simply not an interesting team to watch anymore. Even calling the style of football “functional” would be generous. “Functional” tends to imply a no-frills approach, which might actually get some form of result or return. Pardew supplies functional football without fulfilling the function; quite apt really – when you take the “function out of “functional”, what are you left with? “Al”, of course…"

 

f***ing hell, brilliant who wrote it?

 

Really is

[Ndegwa]

Beats John 'but dis ohwnha' Anderson

 

Very true. What really gets to me is Ando's (and others) almost shrug of the shoulders when it comes to Pardew. It's like "well we know Ashley isn't fussed one iota but who would he replace Pardew with anyway".......followed by a bizarre unwillingness to rightly criticise the manger for his glaringly obvious failings. The constraints within the club (of which I'm sure Pardew was made fully aware when he signed up) doesn't absolve him from being a crap manger ffs.

 

I've seen a lot of comments on Anderson's indifference to Pardew recently and decided to listen to him for myself (live in London, don't get BBC Newcastle on radio just online). After listening to a few Total Sport programs, I am shocked that he's of the 'but if we sack him, who do we get in?' mentaility. It makes no sense. It's like being a Ugandan under Idi Amin's rule and saying 'well if we force a coup, who would come in? What if it was Pol Pot, or Hitler? Fuck that, think we should stick with what we've got.'

[Big Geordie]

That piece from Sackpardew.com Have shared it over at TF and a couple of other places.

 

The Guardian write-up is also very well done - is it Louise Taylor?

[TaylorJ_01]

Just seems to be a part of British mentality that is very 'be happy with your lot, it could be worse'. I get that with work sometimes, as do a lot of colleagues. Not a risk-taking bunch in some ways.

[Ndegwa]

Yep it is her...definitely surprised me.

[ExiledGeordie]

Beats John 'but dis ohwnha' Anderson

 

Very true. What really gets to me is Ando's (and others) almost shrug of the shoulders when it comes to Pardew. It's like "well we know Ashley isn't fussed one iota but who would he replace Pardew with anyway".......followed by a bizarre unwillingness to rightly criticise the manger for his glaringly obvious failings. The constraints within the club (of which I'm sure Pardew was made fully aware when he signed up) doesn't absolve him from being a crap manger ffs.

 

I've seen a lot of comments on Anderson's indifference to Pardew recently and decided to listen to him for myself (live in London, don't get BBC Newcastle on radio just online). After listening to a few Total Sport programs, I am shocked that he's of the 'but if we sack him, who do we get in?' mentaility. It makes no sense. It's like being a Ugandan under Idi Amin's rule and saying 'well if we force a coup, who would come in? What if it was Pol Pot, or Hitler? f*** that, think we should stick with what we've got.'

 

Ando also rolls out that same old line about not being able to compete financially with Chelsea, Man City when nobody in their fight mind expects that. Just some good, honest investment in relation to what comes in and on par with the likes of Everton wtc and certainly bloody Hull, Saints et al.