Elbel1

Didn't we hire him to be on our coaching staff as a defensive coach years ago and then sack him after the first day on the job because he was total s****? I also think someone threw a pastry based product in his face during one of our trips to the old Wembley

Treble, shirley. Does that mean that we get to keep them?

If, at the end of the season, they try to pull "NETD since St Martin took over" remind them that means we're NETDs since Shearer took over in our relegation season because we both got four points over those last 8 games but we have a goal difference of -6 to their -12. If their time under Bruce doesn't count, neither does ours under Kinnear. Or, instead of quoting a stat that will just lead to a 9-1 quip, you could just shake you head and walk away

It's the Sky Sports modus operandi on deadline day

Mk Dons are at home to Sheff Wed tomorrow night If Smith is playing I will be lumping big time on the away win

Yes but to be honest, it's not really worth the effort Just a very very poor attempt at satire by a Liverpool fan

If he had been wearing the training top with our new sponsor on the headline could have been 'Virgin on the Ridiculous'

I would imagine that this unexpected extra income would go towards the rumored increased bid for Rav Morrison

Will have to move quickly incase someone 'taps' him up

Instead of the England job he could end up manager of Mean Machine Unfortuatley I don't think he will be able to tap up other prisons' inmates 'Huntleys a triffic fella, keeps his cell tidy, shares his cigs and does the slopping out. But he's tied to Belmarsh long term so theres nothing happening on that front'

What? What? What? To be fair, if he were actually in on it, it could be a funny app. But he's not. So it's the worst app ever. Imagine if he did a soundboard. Oh yes! Please, please, please, someone make an Owen soundboard! Here are some quotes someone may like to include:- Ow, my knee Ouch, my toe Aaaaiiieee, my hamstring 15 grand on the nose These biscuits are delicious Shall we go to the garden centre on Saturday afternoon? I've had a grest idea lads, let's play charades

No. It was taken on a Liverpool team bonding night out in Suarez's local - The Flaming Cross

Might be Giggs but Liverpool confirmed that they will be wearing a new kit for the FA cup tie against Man Utd. The kit consists of white shirt, white shorts and white socks. And a white hood

How would Karen Brady know all the in's and out's of Demba's contract with Newcastle? Surely whatever has been agreed between Newcastle and Demba has nothing to do with West Ham as they stopped been his employer as soon as the release clause was activated

Fix The Polls

Bit of a non-starter for me He scored a huge pay rise when he left and there is no way that I can see us coming close to matching what he 'earns' now If Racistpool are desperate to get rid and will pay 50% of his wages then maybe but not remotly likely to happen

I have just heard that John Terrys defence will be that he's not racist as some of his best friends wives are black

We all know his top target will be Emile 'goal machine' Heskey

I can't believe he's came out with that line. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family

It's obviously an acronym for Athletically Challeged Employee

FYP FYP

But... 'Everything in life' is in Black & White. At least in that poster it is... I don't get this. Within two weeks there will be a picture taken of that 'advert' with someone covering the word not with their jacket

Liverpool v QPR I'm normally one of Liverpool's most severe critics (really???) but I thought they were unlucky in losing at Fulham on Monday. The Jay Spearing tackle [for which he was sent off] would not even have got a yellow five years ago - it was just a good, strong tackle for me - and if he doesn't get sent off, Liverpool don't lose in my opinion. But such is life, and Liverpool have to pick themselves up. This weekend QPR are in town and Neil Warnock's boys have enjoyed a lot more success on the road than at home this season. The thing with Liverpool, though, is that I think they're about to beat someone quite heavily at home. I just think someone's going to get rolled over. That could be this weekend. Prediction: 2-0 Since when has losing 2-0 been a heavy defeat?

Arsenal v Everton Arsenal may have lost in the Champions League in midweek but forget about that, manager Arsene Wenger took the chance to rest a few players and I've no problem with that. It'll be a huge relief to Arsene to know that the BBC's self appointed football expert agreed with his team selection

Andy Carroll