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Still Not Worthy Of A Thread


joeyt

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Guessing it's a wind-up / promoting The Sun.

 

That original tweet was posted with an image of the Sun front page where it claimed he said "I jumped in front of a lorry and hoped I died" or something like that.

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Clarke context and comments

 

First and foremost, and I should know this by now, twitter is not the place for this sort of thing, as it takes more than 140 characters to talk about anything seriously. So already I wish I hadn’t said anything, not because I regret the comment, but because the choice of forum was wrong and frankly understandable if people are riled up.

 

Next thing is, I don’t suddenly want to air a list of grievances that sound sensationalist and do some tabloid’s job for them. Clarke and I have history, that involves money, lies, on one notable occasion me being interrogated by the police over something I knew nothing about… and all sorts of other stuff.

 

Now, when it comes to mental illness, I understand it, I’ve lived around it, I’ve supported it, I fight against the stigmatization of it and so on. I think it’s a very real issue with a long road to go to combat it.

 

So that said, on to this case… It’s extremely difficult to watch someone repeatedly ruin other people’s lives, then explain it in such a way that makes them immune to criticism. And it keeps happening. It’s now reached a point where, as this proves, it’s like emotional touch paper. And sure, I’m not a professional expert on mental health, and no doubt, neither are you. But I know more about this particular case than you do just because you read about it in the Sun, or saw a documentary.

 

There comes a point where it’s just frustrating to witness someone constantly hammering the pattern of destruction for those around – and I was once one of those around - only to see the destructive force make a moving and sincere apology… then do it again.

 

(On reflection, that’s the nature of addiction/illness, and I know that all too well, but as I say, a rash tweet and it’s not the place for it. )

 

I should also say that during the course of this twitter… whatever it is, Clarke has been in touch with a retrospective apology over things that went on a long time ago, and I think that has to be respected by all, myself included.

 

Anyway... You have to be in a dark place to attempt suicide, and only a fool would suggest otherwise. However, I do find myself thinking that when you’ve been driving drunk five (is it?) times, risking lives of countless other people, and even in your darkest hour still manage to involve a lorry driver who could have died himself, and now has to live with that trauma and memory every day fro the REST of his life… Personally my stores of empathy start to dry up after a while.

 

Am I really that out of order for suggesting that’s not on? Do we repeatedly overlook reckless destruction of other lives beacause someone apologizes, again and again, and says it’s an illness? Isn't there a point where we can go, "enough is enough"?

 

I hate drink driving, I really do. I know victims of it, who have died, been paralysed, or lost loved ones, and I’ve watched this man get caught doing it several times then publicly forgiven, lauded, and handed a bloody good career! I’m sorry but that annoys me!

 

And I think that’s my overriding feeling. I don’t feel sad for Clarke any more, I was drained of that some time ago. Instead I feel sad, and maybe a little angry, for Gemma, and the kids, and the lorry driver, and the people who dived out of the way of the car all those years ago, and all the other people who have been fucked over and over and over… you know who you are.

 

Of course I wish Clarke a strong recovery – and not just from the crash. It would be a better world if he and all other sufferers of such an insidious disease could find a way to fight the good fight. But when he does end up facing the drink driving charges, this time around, I hope, not least out of respect for the hundreds of drink driving victims who tweet me every year, they throw the book at him.

 

I don’t think that makes me a cunt, or gobshite, or a wanker, or any other delightful name some of you came up with, but hey it’s a free country.

 

Though, as a final thought, I would say again, I’m a fool for forgetting that twitter is not, and never will be, the place for a comment like that. It’s too reductive and simplistic, and yes, without context, I can see it would seem insensitive and crass. Not my intention.

 

I’m going to bed.

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That whole piece was padded with verbal bubble wrap. Lots of defending himself before he even says anything, lots of box ticking so people lay off him.

 

The lorry driver is the victim here, though. Bet he gets haunted by it.

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He's only apologised for trying to share his feeling through twitter though; he went on to share them anyway which is the problem imo.

 

He doesn't like the bloke which is fair enough, he has his reasons as he's stated, but there's no point in telling the world about it now after he tried to take his own life, it doesn't help anyone in the slightest.

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Guest antz1uk

it's a whole can of worms, there's no right and no wrong, I know what mental illness can be like, i have lived with it, (not me but around me) and to be honest, as much as i have sympathy for CC there comes a point if someone is that bad then they should be taken away from being in a position of doing harm to others, we have seen it on occasions where scizoprhrienic's (apologies for the lack of spelling) end up causing major damage and it ends up being someone else fault, I can see where he is coming from slightly (although may be he should not have gone public, however everyone has a tipping point) there is only so much you can do to try to help someone, drug addics, alcoholics, mental illness etc. the biggest victim in all of this is CC's family and the lorry driver, is it CC fault? is it the state? is it his family, or the football community? there are no definitive answers sometimes but also sometimes people have to be held accountable. if someone knows how bad they are, then they are aware of the danger they are to others they should take themselves out of the occasion. from what I understand he was aware of his mental state, why involve others in his risk taking.

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He completely made a rod for his back by saying something in the heat of the moment. Would have been far worse for him to remain silent. The innuendo of his original posts meant he had some explaining to do.

 

He's obviously seen that front page and flipped in the heat of the moment.  Probably regrets it now, even if he was angry.

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Ralf shouldn't have said owt publically even if what he had to say was probably right. Should have been done behind closed doors and out of the media eye.

 

Could say the same about Carlisle.

Aye. Probably. Haven't read the Carlisle article like...

 

I assume it is full of how he should have sympathy?

 

Poor lorry driver and family.

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Dear Ralf

 

I don't suppose you'll actually read this, what with all the reading up on depression and suicide you should probably be embarking on right now, so consider this an open letter of sorts.

 

I read your needless response to what happened with Clarke Carlisle and instead of writing that I think you'd have been better served deleting your initial tweets and just apologising. However, there are two things from what you said I agree with;

1. Drink-driving in it's 'common' form is abhorrent.

2. You aren't an expert in mental health.

 

I should expand on point one, you seem to treat Clarke Carlisle's incident and his mental health as two mutually exclusive entities which in my mind is incorrect. While I wouldn't want to defend any form of drink-driving, this wasn't some office worker getting pissed at his Christmas do and thinking he could make it home before his wife finds out about his mistress, this is a man so deep in depression that his judgement was clouded. Falling so deep into a hole like that means that, even for a split second, your mind can allow you to rationalise the irrational. It isn't a concious decision to suffer from depression, a grip can take a hold of you at any time and become difficult to escape. While my thoughts obviously go out to all those, such as the lorry driver, who have to suffer the effects of what happened that December morning, it would be cruel and ignorant to ignore Clarke Carlisle too.

 

And my second point; I am not an expert on mental health, depression or suicide either. However, the day before Clarke Carlisle's attempt on his own life my older brother took his own life. I do not know the reasons, he didn't leave a note, and I do not know the method, I haven't been brave enough to ask. What I do think I know, though, is that for a split second my brother and Clarke Carlisle were both in a difficult place - a place they saw no escape from other than through taking their own lives. Thankfully for Clarke Carlisle's family, his friends and his loved ones, he is still here today. Sadly I cannot say the same of my brother, but I feel not anger towards him, I do not see him as selfish as others may, I do not judge him. I would ask that you do the same of Clarke Carlisle, and others who face similar situations as him.

 

Mental health, depression and suicide still have a strong stigma surrounding them; your post and tweets only seek to reinforce that on the impressionable. Please educate yourself, please know that others shouldn't feel too ashamed or proud to seek help.

 

In the aftermath of my brother's death my family chose to raise money for a charity called CALM - we wanted to raise £200 and, thanks to the generosity and understanding of others, have raised over £3000. Please look into the work that they do.

 

Thanks

 

Jonny

 

Saw this on Twitter.

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