James Maddison (now playing for Tottenham Hotspur)

[Hanshithispantz]

Seen him in Tesco, said areet. He just held two fingers under my nose and said "smell your fatha".

[Geordiebri]

1 hour ago, SUPERTOON said:

Supposedly him and Wood yeah, not sure if true of course.

Is the stumbling block that Newcastle want to use Wood as part of the deal?

[Vinny Green Balls]

1 minute ago, Hanshithispantz said:

Seen him in Tesco, said areet. He just held two fingers under my nose and said "smell your fatha".

We have scraped the bottom of the barrel when we are resorting to Dan Ashworth fan fiction.

[54]

Given there hasn't really been any news, and only a couple of "expected to be rejected" tweets, i'm assuming both parties have probably been in contact throughout the day, trying to come to some sort of agreement. 

[TheGuv]

 

This thread

[STM]

1 minute ago, 54 said:

Given there hasn't really been any news, and only a couple of "expected to be rejected" tweets, i'm assuming both parties have probably been in contact throughout the day, trying to come to some sort of agreement. 

Good lad. That's the spirit.

[Groundhog63]

14 minutes ago, Vinny Green Balls said:

We have scraped the bottom of the barrel when we are resorting to Dan Ashworth fan fiction.

Could be a modern day Viz character. 

Fan Ashworth. Boules around the toon haggling 

[HaydnNUFC]

20 minutes ago, Hanshithispantz said:

Seen him in Tesco, said areet. He just held two fingers under my nose and said "smell your fatha".

 

[xLiaaamx]

You know a threads made it when it has the flying lotus copypasta 

[Guest reefatoon]

22 minutes ago, JonBez comesock said:

Sounds like him 

 

I saw him in the bookies near Chillingham

road (he wasn’t wearing a coat)

 

I said , Dan nice to meet you.

 

how’s things at Newcastle? 
 

No reply - just yawned in my face 
 

He took a Milky Way out his pocket and unwrapped it , but instead of eating the Milky Way he started using it as a pretend microphone ………

 

He slowly started singing the National anthem ….but in the tune of the blaydon races 

 

The woman behind the counter at the bookies , asked him to be quiet and she warned him he would be barred again if he continued with the ‘singing’ 

 

Dawn yawned loudly and screamed (madders is a Geordie) 

 

He ran up to the counter and put a tenner on England to win the World Cup 

 

I followed him out the bookies and spotted him asleep on the petrol forecourt next to four lane ends with a Milky Way up his arse 

 

I spotted him in a Toby Carvery, where he was sitting on his own colouring in.

 

Cyril Regis walked past and said, Dan is that you?

 

He said, sure is.

 

Cyril said: If it is really you then do the thing with your ears that you used to do when you were at West Bromich so Dan slowly stands up and then he starts shaking his face from side to side to make the bottom of his ears wobble and it was so good because he was slapping his ears all over the place like a couple of meat hammocks for ages and everyone in the restaurant was saying that it was one of the best things that they have ever seen in their whole life and a little boy actually had a fit because he loved it so much and he nearly died of pure pleasure.

 

[Kid Icarus]

kill iz

[loki679]

This is pathetic, lads, sort yourselves out

[PauloGeordio]

Walks into thread to see if we’ve signed this fucker yet? Enters the twilight zone. WTF ? 

[Coffee_Johnny]

3 minutes ago, Groundhog63 said:

Could be a modern day Viz character. 

Fan Ashworth. Boules around the toon haggling 

He sauntered into Greggs, in an overly tight fitting Shane McGowan drinking suit, pockets bulging with 500 riyal notes.

Cautiously checking he wasn’t overheard, he leaned over the counter.

”Psst! I’ll give you 89p for that ham and pease pudding stottie. Waddaya  say?”

The bemused looking youth scratched under his Castore sponsored cap, before uttering.
“They’re £2.55 sir.”

”Hadaway and shite!” Whispered Ashworth, in a surprisingly convincing regional accent, before shouldering through the panicked placard waving Tyneside public who’d gathered outside in hope of a successful purchase. Their heavily furrowed brows were eased slightly when he shouted: “I’ll be back before closing time. Be a shame to chuck it oot, like!”.

[Scoot]

People pissing themselves all over. Just sit back and wait and see what happens and stop believing every single tweet you read.

 

Not one of them had any idea we were even interested in Maddison before the first bid was put in. Now they're tweeting hourly about it as if they know.

[JonBez comesock]

14 minutes ago, reefatoon said:

 

I spotted him in a Toby Carvery, where he was sitting on his own colouring in.

 

Cyril Regis walked past and said, Dan is that you?

 

He said, sure is.

 

Cyril said: If it is really you then do the thing with your ears that you used to do when you were at West Bromich so Dan slowly stands up and then he starts shaking his face from side to side to make the bottom of his ears wobble and it was so good because he was slapping his ears all over the place like a couple of meat hammocks for ages and everyone in the restaurant was saying that it was one of the best things that they have ever seen in their whole life and a little boy actually had a fit because he loved it so much and he nearly died of pure pleasure.

 

?

[Groundhog63]

3 minutes ago, Coffee_Johnny said:

He sauntered into Greggs, in an overly tight fitting Shane McGowan drinking suit, pockets bulging with 500 riyal notes.

Cautiously checking he wasn’t overheard, he leaned over the counter.

”Psst! I’ll give you 89p for that ham and pease pudding stottie. Waddaya  say?”

The bemused looking youth scratched under his Castore sponsored cap, before uttering.
“They’re £2.55 sir.”

”Hadaway and shite!” Whispered Ashworth, in a surprisingly convincing regional accent, before shouldering through the panicked placard waving Tyneside public who’d gathered outside in hope of a successful purchase. Their heavily furrowed brows were eased slightly when he shouted: “I’ll be back before closing time. Be a shame to chuck it oot, like!”.

"wey, he's only bid 89p for that class peas pudding stottie man, should go all in for the full £2.55. Unless it's a bluff cos he's really after the meatball combo" 

[Ste]

We're not far away from somebody writing Dan Ashworth erotica so I hope to fuck this transfer takes another week at least.

[JonBez comesock]

5 minutes ago, Coffee_Johnny said:

He sauntered into Greggs, in an overly tight fitting Shane McGowan drinking suit, pockets bulging with 500 riyal notes.

Cautiously checking he wasn’t overheard, he leaned over the counter.

”Psst! I’ll give you 89p for that ham and pease pudding stottie. Waddaya  say?”

The bemused looking youth scratched under his Castore sponsored cap, before uttering.
“They’re £2.55 sir.”

”Hadaway and shite!” Whispered Ashworth, in a surprisingly convincing regional accent, before shouldering through the panicked placard waving Tyneside public who’d gathered outside in hope of a successful purchase. Their heavily furrowed brows were eased slightly when he shouted: “I’ll be back before closing time. Be a shame to chuck it oot, like!”.

Did he still have the milky way up his Arse?

[LV]

Make it stop 

[Wolfcastle]

1 hour ago, Hanshithispantz said:

It probably doesn't matter what the initial bid was, the point of an opening bid is to let someone know you're wanting to enter negotiations. Your initial bid should pretty much never be accepted.

 

 

 

Absolutely. Even when players were transfer listed with a fee beisde them there was negotiation

 

 

Edited August 2, 2022 by Wolfcastle

[GeordieDazzler]

This is 100% worse than the Sven Botman thread already and we’re barely three days into the Saga

[TBG]

Had the pleasure of meeting Maddison at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.

[The Prophet]

2 minutes ago, GeordieDazzler said:

This is 100% worse than the Sven Botman thread already and we’re barely three days into the Saga

 

As the creator of both, you're very welcome.

[Mattoon]